Leaving on a Jet Plane

I’ve always been a fan of people watching, in fact I typically buy extra dark sun glasses in order to sneak an extra peak of the weird and wonderful people surrounding me. Recently, I went on a trip and learned that the airport is in fact one of the best people watching places.  You see, there is something about traveling by air that sends ordinary people into quite a tizzy. This ends up being quite entertaining for those of us who have flown, say, within the last ten years. Among the most entertaining things I observed at the airport were:

   1.       People who don’t understand how to go through a security line. I know you’re thinking this isn’t entertaining, this is so flipping obnoxious! But really, what could be more humorous than watching people undress rapidly, shove all of their belongings in a tub, and shuffle through a body scanner with their mismatched socks. It literally boggles my mind how hard this is for people. And don’t worry, I always seem to choose the line that has the most morons in it like hey, I didn’t know my belt had metal on it, or what do you mean I can’t have my phone in my pocket? Deep yoga breathing and finding the humor help me progress through the line.

2.       People traveling with small children. Okay, now I know you’re going to think I’m mean for saying this, but sometimes I think traveling parents need to a. chill out and b. pack less shit to entertain their child. I’m not a parent, but I am a teacher, and I can tell you that giving your kid some paper and crayons will yield less crying and more brain cells than your iphone with an episode of Sesame Street (also for the record, the rest of us don’t want to listen to Big Bird). Among the most entertaining thing that parents do is use their giant strollers as battering rams to get through crowds… yeah, don’t do that.

3.       People who can’t read. Surely you didn’t read that correctly, everyone knows how to read! Apparently not at the airport, nor do people know how to listen. They tell you to line up in numerical order to board the plane, so you just push in front of everyone right? The sign tells you to board at a certain gate, so you get ticked when you go to the wrong gate right? My favorite of course is when every ticket and announcement says that there are no assigned seats and you ask what your seat number is. Okay, so maybe this one isn’t entertaining and my comments are dripping with sarcasm, but hey it still makes for good people watching.

I encourage you to watch for these characters the next time you take a ride on a jet plane. While flying can be stressful, finding amusement in others may just lighten your trip.Or just reinforce that stupid people are not just annoying but humorous too.