Notice Me!

I was recently walking around downtown with my friend. Suddenly, he looked at me, and we had the following conversation:

Friend: So do you just walk around looking at other women's boobs all the time?
Me: Um, no. Why, do you?
Friend: Yes, they are everywhere!
Me: I only notice if they are in my face. Women need to be careful with their cleavage, nothing more than 1/2 an inch is really necessary.
Friend: Yeah, I can see that. But I like it, women should show it all the time.
Me: That's aggressive.

I took two things away from this conversation. 1. I love my friend for these random conversations and 2. Women think that men notice a whole lot of things that they in fact do not. I find this highly interesting because women spend a great amount of time worrying about many things that they believe men notice ie: what we wear, what kind of a hair day we are having, and the color of our nail polish. However there are times when I suddenly realize that men and women are completely on different pages with this. Once a guy looked at me and asked, "So do you have a different necklace for like EVERY outfit?" My response was something along the lines of, "Uh yeah, that's kind of the point." He looked shocked, when in my mind, I was wondering how it took him so long to notice my accessorizing skills.

I thought I'd do a little research to test my hypothesis of men and women noticing different things about one another. After collecting data from a variety of specimens/friends I've learned the following.

Men pay attention to:

• Body parts

Women pay attention to:

• Smile
• Eyes
• Bulging biceps
• Clothing- including, but not limited to: color, brand, size, fit, and coordination
• Overall hygiene
• Laugh
• Interaction with others
• What men are actually saying, (and yes, we will remember every word, sorry boys)

From this data, I feel confident in saying that a. women get a whole lot more out of 5 minutes than men, and b. men are much simpler than women believe them to be. In my mind, women should really be more aware of this because it would save them a  lot of needless worry.

I once read that the number one thing that people notice about one another is if they look like they are happy or not. This thought has really stuck with me especially when I can feel myself scowling after a grueling day at work or laying on the floor at the gym "stretching" aka trying to recuperate from near death. I think if women can find a way to show their happiness they will find much more success with the opposite sex than they would with  a 1/2 inch of cleavage. Though let's be real ladies, accessories kind of do make you happier right? So glam it up and smile, because all eyes are on you Little Miss Fabulous!