Quit Your Bitching

It was around this time last year that I read an article in my magazine titled, "Could You Go a Week Without Bitching?" This title struck me since it's not every day that you sit and analyze just how many things you've been griping about. And as 2015 began, I started to consider what my new year's resolution should be. Well, as most of you know, I've recently moved to a new apartment. When anyone asks how my winter break was, without even thinking I start talking about how terrible it was to move when it was -5 degrees outside, that it was incredibly busy and expensive to move just after the holidays, and that I'm so dreadfully tired of living out of boxes, not to mention the fact that the stinking couch is backordered. Did you hear that? Bitch. Whine. Moan. What I should be saying is that I felt great after donating many household items to a family of Congo refugees, that my sweet boyfriend moved the majority of my apartment while I was gone visiting my family, and that our new apartment is amazing and I'm loving the new living situation. How is it that I completely leave those positive details out and go directly to complaining?

After this little moment of self reflection, I decided I needed to look at this in a bit more in depth. First, I'd like to say that men bitch too, they just usually let it go and then they're done. Women on the other hand, tend to let it fester. For example, when eating lunch with coworkers one person's complaint turns into a series of complaints, and all of the sudden everyone has joined the bitching choir and we're all singing the same tune.  What I've also noticed is that when you don't join in with your fellow complainers you do one of two things:
1. You start bitching about their bitching. Ie: "Ugh, did you hear _______? She's so negative all the time, she makes me crazy!"
2. You feel bad that you are not bitching. Ie: "Everyone is complaining about their evaluation, but I'm not because mine was good. I'm going to go hide from them now."

Bitching is contagious, and incredibly easy to catch, so oftentimes you get sucked in. We are trained to think that if we can just get something off our chest, we'll feel better afterwards.  The trouble is that after we return to our desks, rather than feeling relieved, we are more bothered than ever. Your body feels tense, your blood pressure is on the rise, and then you need to go find someone else to share your complaints with stat...the ugly cycle continues because complaining is closely linked to gossiping, which let's be real, can be addictive. I recently met a friend for breakfast and decided to make the cognitive choice not to bitch about anything. Guess what happened? We still had things to talk about! Okay, okay, sense a little sarcasm here, but truly, it's amazing how good I felt after I left. I felt refreshed, joyful to spend time with someone I hadn't seen in a long time, and just plain happy that I had such a great start to the day. That is the feeling that I want to maintain.

Aren't we all tired of the complaining? We hear it over the annual family Christmas conundrums, we see it every hour from that one friend that we all have on Facebook, we think it each and every second we inch along the highway during rush hour, and worst of all we hear it coming from our own mouths about whatever small and trivial thing has happened to us. For me, I think it's just a change of mindset, a choice that you have to make to be more positive. Am I saying that from now on a complaint will never cross my lips? Not likely.  Because let's be real, not all days at work are going to be stellar, you won't love everyone you  meet, and some days there will be an inch of ice you have to carve your way out of before you go to work. But I think I should at least be a bit more conscientious. For both your sake, and for mine. Because if we can approach things without the instant need to exchange and bond over bitching, I bet we'd all be a bit happier.  It's a little less this:

  A little more this:

And a lot more this: