The Single Life

Well, according to my blogger statistics all of you enjoy reading about my breakup. Nice. Actually I have a new motto, and that is, no judging. So I guess, thanks for reading :) I'd be lying if I said I wasn't guilty of a little online "checking in" myself.

At any rate, the topic of today's blog is living the single life. This whole new life that I've given myself seems to be a bit more difficult to adjust to then originally thought. So what is it that one does during this single time? I myself got the unpleasant surprise that it is in fact nothing like how Carrie Bradshaw and her single friends do it in all of the Sex and the City episodes. Or maybe I just need to get better shoes to strut around in with my ladies...HA, we know that's not true. But honestly, for a person who runs in circles all day, meeting the demands of 26 students for a job, it's really hard to adjust and think about my needs. I've got the basics covered ie: mani/pedi, gym time, spend time baking, and read books- but at some point my staff is bound to get tired of my weekly baked goods and my body is going to reach a breaking point as it nears the record for days worked out in a row. As I sat in my apartment this weekend, I couldn't help but wonder (subtle Carrie reference), what does everyone do with their single time?

I guess what I've come to conclude is that I can no longer rely on other people to bring me my sole happiness, and I have to find it in myself. That's pretty deep for my flippant blog, I know. I hate feeling like my friends are babysitting me, like, "Hey, whose turn is it to hang out with her so she doesn't mope tonight?" Everyone else has their families, husbands, and boyfriends to occupy them, and that's the way it should be, (which might I add, where the hell did all of the single people go? It used to be everyone and now it feels like it's just me!).  My new plan is to try new things and rekindle my interests. I'm hoping that means a new place to call home and maybe even a new job, but I just have to keep an open mind and remember that a. I will not die alone b. Everyone has a someone, and mine is out their waiting, and c. This may be the only time I have to be selfish, so I'm going to take it. Now someone better remind me of this when I get sad and go to the dark place that we shall call "worry-land".

I would like to conclude by just taking a second to thank those of you who have listened and made me smile. You all help me in more ways that you'll ever know. And now, at the risk of further sounding like a high school yearbook entry, I am done.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Well friends, I guess you couldn’t say you didn’t see this one coming. Yes, over the past month it seems that my life has been turned every way except in the direction that I had expected. I’m newly single for the first time in eight years, and while I know I’m still not through the hard times, loneliness, and random burst of tears, I have taken a bit of time to reflect. You see, this was one of the first times that the caretaker needed to be taken care of. I found it interesting how many people reacted to the news of this change in my life and I would like to therefore create this list of Things to do When Your Friend is in a Breakup. 

1.    No one knows what to say when you go through a break up. I will tell you the three things you should never say: “You are so strong, you made the right choice, and in six months you’ll be fine.” I got this probably 200 times and each time I wanted to say the following, “If I’m so strong then why do I feel like crap, if I made the right choice why I am so sad, and damn those six  months.” I know you’re trying to help and give me one of those “This too shall pass,” talks, but right now I can’t even comprehend shampooing my hair, let alone your words of wisdom. 
2.    One thing you should do for a friend during a breakup is talk about ANYTHING but the breakup. We don’t want to rehash things repeatedly and this will ultimately lead to you getting cried on all night. Seriously, save yourself the tear soaked shoulder. The only time this was safe was when I was holding my friend’s baby, because who can cry when they’re holding a baby? 
3.    Just show your friend that you are there for them. Reaffirming statements like, “I understand. I’m so sorry. Dinner is ready come over,” are extremely comforting. Remember to keep it simple, all your friend really wants to know is that you know they are going through hell and that you are thinking of them. 
4.  Feed your friend whatever they want. I lost weight on my all cookie diet. Save your exercise lecture for later, because right now that may be all that makes them feel good. I should also note that you should intervene by week three if this continues. Your friend will thank you for this later.
5. Save the puppy eyes for someone else. Every day I get someone asking me how I’m doing with this sad look in their eyes and their lip stuck out. Your look makes me feel pathetic and also guilty if I’m having a good day. Ask me how I am, give a high five, do a dance, but cut it out with the face. Pity doesn’t look good on anyone. 
6.    Finally, if you’re going to talk about the breakup among others, make sure it doesn’t get back to your friend. Nobody likes being gossiped about, especially when they already feel like they’ve just survived a blunt trauma.

Well, there you have it- a short but sweet list that should help you and your friend survive a breakup. Good luck to you and your friend, and for the love of Pete (and your friend), go get those cookies!

The Case for Teacher Pay

It's that time of year again. We are all decking the halls, singing the carols, and wrapping the gifts. But as a teacher we are not only doing this, we are also trying to stop the children from crawling up the walls as they jump for joy from their candy cane comas. There's nothing like the holiday spirit to remind me that there are many things that come with my job that a. no one ever told me about and b. I should get paid better for dealing with. I'm not talking work overload or any of that, I'm talking the weird situations that come up on a daily basis that truly warrant a bonus. So while you are singing the 12 days of Christmas, I will now sing the 12 reasons teachers deserve better pay.

1. Noses- I don't know what it is but kids have an obsession with their noses. I can't even tell you how many times I've witnessed the pick and eat. It's disgusting and I'm pretty sure bankers don't have to deal with that.
2. Mouths- Kids are also obsessed with their mouths. I have a teacher friend who watched her student begin with one end of the paper and proceed to eat the paper inch by inch. Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure none of my college classes told me what to do in this instance.
3. Nudity- Yesterday I walked by a second grade classroom and a student had pulled his pants down and was just chillin with his naked butt in the seat. Why? No one knows.
4. Bathroom incidents- I clearly remember another friend's first year of teaching when she called me in a panic. Her student had pooped on the floor that day. Then the other kids had stepped in it and tracked it all over the room. When this happened in my own classroom we were lucky to discover it was canine. Again, things they don't teach you in college.
5. Spelling mishaps- Teachers should get a bonus check just for the interpretation of student's writing. Just this week a student wrote that, "The moon has phases because it's all a fart of our solar system." Changing lives, day by day.
6. Fighting society- A lot of things that kids know come from our society, of course this is not always a good thing. For example, I'm spelling a word for a student "per-pen-dic-u-lar," and he giggles. Okay, so he gets "dick" but he can't tell me what a triangle is? I'm mad at you society.
7. Teaching technology- Anyone who has ever taught 27 children at once to double click, save, and print knows what I'm talking about. Yesterday my teammate's student laid on his keyboard for a while thereby hitting the return key through 85 pages. Crazy that when he printed he couldn't figure out why the printer was only spitting out blank pages.
8. Tattling- Sadly I continue to deal with this in 4th grade. I really don't care if that kid is using a mechanical pencil, I care that you know how to write a summary. Ugh.
9. Snack time- Nothing says teachers need a pay raise like cookies for snack.
10. Faking enthusiasm- I can't even tell you how many times a day I have to pretend that I'm excited for a student. This sounds bad, but really I don't care that your dog did something silly that I don't understand, and I don't care that you picked out a new book to stack on your desk, and finally I don't care about a story that took 20 minutes to tell and there is no climax. That's some valuable instructional time right there.
11. Office supplies- I know, you're thinking what? Well let me tell you why teachers need more pay because of office supplies. First, I've had a child staple themselves twice, I've found numerous pencils sharpened down to less than an inch, and have had an entire stack of papers glued together because someone just loved squeezing the glue bottle. This is why office supplies can be a curse.
12. Parent teacher conferences- Now I'm not talking workload, because everyone already knows that these days equal 14 hours of work. I'm talking 20 minute speed dating with parents telling them what their child is doing is 5 subjects including homework and behavior. I should get a bonus just for filling the time so full.

Well, if I still haven't convinced you that teachers need more pay then you should probably give me a call. Actually, wait until after I finish my winter break :)

It's Thanksgiving!

In preparation for Thanksgiving, it seems to be a trend on Facebook to write about something you are thankful for each day. I thought this was a fabulous idea, however I didn't quite catch on until about day 5. I also can't match my Facebook friend's praise for babies, in laws, etc. I thought it would be interesting to take a more logical approach to these claims of thanks. Of course I'm thankful for my family, friends, and manfriend- they make me who I am. But what I'm really thankful for are things that most others take for granted. So, without further ado, here is my list of 30 things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving. Gobble gobble.
1. Coffee
2. The opportunity to bake and relieve stress
3. A car that gets 50 mpg
4. Sunday mornings
5. Caring coworkers
6. A memory foam mattress top
7. The holiday season
8. Quilts made by my mom
9. Kleenex boxes in every room
10. Baseball parks
11. The crock pot
12. Tulips
13. Knowing how to play piano
14. The 27 cherubs that I teach
15. Friends that make you go to spin class
16. J.K. Rowling
17. Bags that fly free
18. Free recycling
19. People that smile at you
20. Seat heaters
21. People who decorate their houses with Christmas lights
22. My day planner
23. Mashed potatoes
24. People that say "Excuse me"
25. The public library
26. A good landlord
27. Friendly and quiet neighbors
28. Free shipping
29.People who cook me dinner
30. Pictionary

Hey, it's not okay...

Man on man it has been a REALLY long time since I've gotten my blog on. I guess you could say I was suffering from a bit of writers block, that or school started and my free time became nil. At any rate, I've finally decided to take some time to begin writing again, and what better way is there to do that than to play off of another one of my blogs.

A few months back I was inspired by my favorite magazine, Glamour. In this magazine I look forward to the monthly "Hey, it's okay" page where people write in and say ironic and humorous things that are quite frankly, okay to feel. I thought I'd give it a twist this time however and create a "Hey, it's NOT okay" list. So here it goes...

HEY, IT'S NOT OKAY...

• to honk your horn when the light is red. It is best to wait for the intersection to clear before you proceed.

• to talk about politics...ever. This breeds hatred for your friends and also makes your heart palpitate and say things like, "You are a bleeping moron, how could you bleeping not vote for bleep." Not cool.

• that there are diaper wipes in my staff's adult bathroom. Oh, and no one has a baby. Is this what happens when you get older?

• to wear slippers as shoes, and leggings as pants, and hoodies as coats. 

• to update your facebook status 15 times a day. I'm sorry, but I just don't care where you are, what you're eating, and who you are with. 

•  Not to use manners. If someone sends you a gift, say thank you. If you walk in front of someone, say excuse me. How has society suddenly forgot these holy rules?

• To put up Christmas stuff in the stores before Thanksgiving. Every holiday should get its fair share of observance.

• To ask your parents for money after age 25. You've graduated, you have a job, grow up. Let your dad buy that red convertible and you find your pride.

•  To give me a Pepsi when I ordered a Coke. 

•  For Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner to not have egg foo yung gravy. I know it's my Chinese heritage, but the meal just isn't the same without it. Period.

No comprendo.

These days I feel like the more I look around me, the more I just don't understand. There are just some things that make me want to throw my arms in the air because they just plum don't make sense. Of course then I take a deep sarcastic breath and move on. Is there anyone out there that can please explain the following to me:

• Cropped tops- Doesn't everyone know that in fashion, long and lean lines make a long and lean you? If you crop it all that shows is your muffin top. Why must these designers make shirts that require so many sit ups?
• Frozen yogurt shops- Okay, now you're thinking, "Hello, you love frozen yogurt!" which I do, however I think that we've gotten way far away from this healthy dessert phase. How can people call yogurt that you pay for by the POUND and cover in chocolate chips and 300 gummi bears healthy? I myself call this dinner (ha!) but healthy, not quite.
• Tip jars- I was a waitress for 3 years, so I know just how important it is to tip well. However it seems like everywhere you go these days, people want to get tipped. I'm sorry, but I don't feel that I owe you something just because you opened a display and handed me a box of Butterfinger bites. Perhaps you should charge less and do a dance, then I might consider it.
• 5K runs and/or marathons- Hey, did you know that if you want to have a fundraiser in Colorado all you have to do is tell people there will be a running race? Since when do so many people like running, and on top of that running through mud and electrical fences? This doesn't say fun to me, this says wow my face is beet red and I don't think my heart should be beating this fast. I also don't like how these runs shut down traffic on a Saturday...just saying.
• Sporks- When was the last time you tried using one of these things? KFC right? Let's just say not the world's best invention.
• The B gear on my car- The dealership said this meant "brake". I nodded like I understood, but really all I could think was, "Isn't there a pedal for that?" Hence, the B gear will probably never get used.

I guess as I continue to go through life I will continue to find these things that just don't make sense to me. But I will say I'm willing to listen to anyone who can explain...as I eat my frozen yogurt in my cropped top of course.

Freshly sharpened bouquet of pencils

Well kids, it's that time of year again, time for back to school. While the end of summer brings dread to many a little one, I myself celebrate 10 cent folders and markers for just $1. But I guess I can see where these kids are coming from, I mean after months of freedom we all have to buckle down and get back to the paper and pencils. What most people may not think about is how teachers and adults feel about this back to school time of year. I feel the following:

• Confusion as to why I picked a job with a location so far away. Seriously, I do not remember the commute being this long, nor people being this slow.

 

• Stress at trying to perfect the straightness of a bulletin board...a bulletin board that will no doubt be ignored and/or ripped down by October. 
• Clever, as in how can I cleverly fit 20 Smart Ones lunches into my freezer for those "emergency" days when making a lunch sounds like climbing Everest. 

 

• Panic because all of the sudden I have to find my ironing board again...okay, okay, I'll be honest- most days I iron my clothes with my hair straightener 2 minutes before I walk out the door, stupid mornings.
• Tired, because let's be real I a. have not had to wake up before the crack of 9 for three months, b. have only had to use brain power to keep track of who is winning on the current episode of Project Runway, and c. have not showered before 2 p.m. in over a week. All of this "work" is tiring!

• Anticipation, as in I cannot wait to see what fun conversations and drama will come up in my workplace that is 99% women :) 

 

Well, I'm off to pick out my new outfit for school tomorrow and go to bed, that's right it's school bedtime again. Good luck my little scholars!