Lady Baggage

Typically I'm not a fan of people who complain about the weather, but I have one thing to say about this here Colorado summer and that is, it's flinging flanging HOT! The good thing however, is that I have numerous trips planned this summer to beat the heat in my tiny oven of an apartment.

Upon lugging my suitcase back home from my last journey, I couldn't quite understand why my bag was so dang heavy. While unpacking, I discovered that my bag didn't have anything extraordinary in it, but rather the usual crap that a lady needs in order to survive. Now I know I'm going to catch some grief for this because my granola friends will say, "You're so beautiful you don't need make up or jewelry!" And you know what, they are right. But does the average person look enhanced with said accoutrements? I think yes. What women travels without:

1. A hefty Ziploc bag of products: One day I decided to see just how many products I used on my body. The answer: 24. That's right, 2 dozens things! Obviously I have a bit of a product addiction, but to those who say you don't need it, I say, do you really want to be around me when my hair looks like Edward Scissorhands, my face looks like a 15 year old boy, and I smell like a locker room? Nobody should have to see/smell that.
2. A wide variety of bras: Don't blush, bras are a necessity of womankind, no matter what shape or size. Who knows when you'll need a strapless, t-shirt, racerback, black, nude, one strap contraption to make you look slim, appropriate, and appealing to the man stew of D.C.? I overheard a group of ladies at the airport having this same conversation, and I was like, "Totally with you sister."
3. A large quantity of chargers: Be it phone, tablet, Kindle, camera, laptop or iPod you'll need them all on your prolonged stay. You'd think by now we'd have a universal charger to make it easy on travelers, but then again, why make it convenient?
4. Multiple pairs of shoes: As most of you that know me are aware of, I'm a bit of a shoe fiend. So when I say my luggage had 9 pairs of shoes in it you are not surprised. Sure it's a bit of an overkill, but know that I bought three pairs on the actual trip (one should not ignore excellent sales). Shoes are there for all of your walking, beaching, dressing up times so it really pays to be prepared.
5. Plane entertainment: There are few things worse than being on a long flight without something to do. I had accidentally packed my book in my suitcase on my way to D.C. and found myself watching a movie on someone's laptop between the crack of the two airplane seats in front of me. Kind of creepy and also less meaningful without sound.

So the next time you are packing for a trip, remember to keep the luggage light and only take the essentials listed above. You never know what you'll encounter, but at least hopefully the hot weather will be enjoyed on a beach rather than your couch. Bon voyage!

From the Mouths of Babes

Ah, summer break. How I have been waiting anxiously for you to get here! All in all, it was a pretty fabulous year in my classroom. I know some people don't really understand what it is that I do as a teacher, but I hope everyone knows just how amazingly humorous kids can be.  Sometimes from the mouths of babes comes the greatest things.  I thought I would take a minute to count down my top 10 favorite quotes from this year. Enjoy!

10. On a field trip to the park, student looks at me and says, "Ms. V, nature is so sooving don't you think? You know, like calm." Then he whips out his TMNT toy.

9. A student wore a presidential candidate's shirt to school during election season. Another student walked up to them and said, "Just so you know, ________ is a liar." I bet you can't guess which candidate :)

8. Student: "You know Ms. V, you really are the best teacher in the school." Me: "Why do you say that?" Student: "Well because your name has a V in it and you told all the other teachers to make a music video."

7. Me: "Do you think you could help this student out? They are really going to need your support and I know you can do it because you are so kind." Student: "Well, I guess they are pretty obedient so I can get them to do what I want."

6. Student: "Ms. V., why do you like Tulowitzki so much?" Other student: "Hello! Have you seen him!?" Student: "So you're saying he is good looking?" Me and other student: "Yes."

5. While asking students to estimate the answer of a multiplication problem, I asked a student how they got their estimate. Student: "Well I know my estimate is correct because, well I don't know about these people,(points to his classmates) but I actually know how to multiply."

4. Student: "Ms. V., my parents think you are really weird." Me: "What? Why?" Student: "Well I told them about how you're always singing to us and dancing around the classroom." Me: "Maybe you shouldn't tell your parents everything that we do in class..."

3. I gave a student the "I'm disappointed" talk because he had forgotten his homework yet again. He wrote me the following in a letter: "I have never been so sorry in my life. I could just cry right now. I'll try so much harder next time, I'm gonna be on a roll. I'm so super sorry, I would go across across the world for my work."

2. Student: "Ms. V, would you like a coupon for a free donut?" Me: "No thanks, I'm good. Why?" Student: "Well, you're always talking about food, so I thought you'd like one." Okay, this one still makes me laugh.

1. When we study the history of Colorado, we study the mountain men. This is always a very entertaining unit as you talk about the importance of the beaver. My students took it to a whole new level this year when a group of boys couldn't stop talking about how much they loved beaver. It culminated with them chanting, "Beaver! Beaver! Beaver!" while throwing their fists in the air. If they only knew...

The Centenial State

A while back I wrote an ode to my home state of Utah. As my 10 year high school reunion grows closer, it seems crazy to think that I've now been a Colorado resident for almost ten years. Life is definitely different here in the Rocky Mountains, so I thought I would assemble some thoughts for all you non-natives to help you better understand life "elevated."

1. The first thing you need to know about living in Colorado is that people that are from here are REALLY proud of it. You'll be able to identify them by their "Native" bumper stickers and funny look that they give you when you tell them you're not from here. If you mention that you were thinking of moving somewhere else, the typical response is, "Why? Colorado is amazing! Who would ever want to leave?" This state pride was a bit weird to me because we don't have that in Utah...I then realized that is because no one from Utah ever leaves. Whatever you do, don't buy one of these or I will make fun of you--->

2. Another thing you should know about Colorado is that there is a formal dress code. First, all residents are required to purchase a variety of North Face outerwear, preferably black, but other colors are also allowed. Second, you must own at least one pair of outdoorsy and or eco-friendly footwear including but not limited to Keens, Chacos, Toms, Columbia, or Merrell. Flannel and/or plaid shirts are acceptable but not required. I utilized this wardrobe when I climbed Mt. Ranier last summer.
 <---Okay, so I was actually climbing a snow pile in the parking lot, but I feel I should receive credit for the effort and a bonus for incorporating a Coach bag into the outfit.

3. Colorado residents really, really like their Subarus. They also like to mow other cars over on the freeway when it is snowing. "Learn how to drive in the snow!" they shout. "Stop driving like a tool!" I reply.

4.On one of my first Sundays living in Colorado I took a walk around the neighborhood. It was silent. "Where is everyone?" I thought to myself. Turns out the Sunday has a different name in Colorado, it is Bronco Day. On Bronco Day, you stay inside and yell at the Donkeys until they win. You even get 15% off of your groceries if you wear your Broncos gear to the store on game day!

5. The last thing you should know about living in Colorado is that the weather is seriously nuts. It's something about the change in elevation coming off of the Rockies and into the plains, (or at least that's what they tell you when you're having yet another turbulent landing at DIA). At any rate, Coloradans love to talk about weather. When it snows in May (aka last week) you can start tallying how many people say, "Welcome to Colorado" or "It's springtime in the Rockies!" People really need to stop saying that because it makes me want to say mean things.

Well, I think that about sums this great state. For more information on life in Colorado, please ask any Midwesterner as they have all seemed to move here. Go Broncos.

Learning to Grieve Again

Recent experiences in my life have led me to think about grief. Over the past year I have grieved the loss of a relationship, a friend's loss, and the loss of my grandfather. What I don’t think any of us can understand is why grief is so hard to deal with. It can literally make you feel a sadness that is so deep inside of you that you feel like it may drown you (similar to how this scene of Up gets me EVERY time).  Equally hard to understand is how long it will take you to heal, while also realizing that you may never be the same. I often reference “those stage things” and so I thought I’d do a bit more research into them. 

You may remember from your Psych 101 class that there are supposedly 5 stages of grief. They are as follows:

Denial: For me this is always the first stage. When someone tells me something horrible, I’m automatically thinking they’re lying or telling a joke... then again, who lies about that kind of stuff!? If you ask me, this comes from shock, a fight or flight type of ordeal. Even though I knew my grandpa was sick, I still couldn’t register that he was really gone.

Anger: This is a pretty easy stage to get stuck in. Whenever something happens that we can’t explain it typically turns into anger. Why did you have to leave me? Why is this so bleepity hard? Why do people keep consoling me with asinine comments?Why did this have to happen to me? You can literally circle around these questions over and over again until you're dizzy with frustration and anger.

Bargaining: This stage is a little tricky for me. As an Asian, I am naturally good at bargaining ie: Can I get this cheaper? However this type of bargaining is a bit more of the "What If?" nature. What if I had done _______? I promise next time I'll make sure to ________.  You know you're done with this stage only when you are able to understand that there is nothing that you could've done to prevent this loss, and that no amount of pleading can change the past.

Depression: I'm a pretty big sucker for this stage as well since I'm naturally someone who enjoys rehearsing memories in mind. The only issue is that it is these memories that often trigger an onset of tears, sadness, and just plain missing whatever you've lost. I've earned myself the nickname of "The Wet Blanket" in my family because all it takes is a picture of my beloved dog Snoopy or the card from my PoPo and Gung Gung on my fridge to set the tears in motion. In my defense, sometimes it is okay to just be sad. Oh, and your aunt shouldn't tell you not to cry, some of us didn't inherit the Chinese nerves of steel (I can say that because I know she doesn't read my blog) :)

Acceptance: Now in my very humble opinion, this is the very hardest stage to reach because your head must wrap around all of the ideas in your heart to help you understand that loss will eventually touch your life. This is not simply "getting over" something or "moving on" but letting the loss become a part of you as a positive light. Ugh, I know, easier said than done.

So there is your review of the grieving process. There is no order and no time limit, but in my mind the best cure is family, friends, and of course cookies. Don't lose hope, and remember that all you need is love! <3

Find Your Inner Yogi

I set off to explore my inner self again this weekend, as I partook in something I’ve been avoiding lately- a hot yoga class. Now before all you yogis get too excited, know that I’m a big fan of yoga, I just don’t see a need to perform it in a room that feels like the Sahara. I’ve been practicing for almost ten years and find the exercises calming and beneficial. But as I sat in preparation for my class, I couldn’t help but find the humor in the room. I felt that newbies would probably need a guide to hot yoga, so I’ve created one below. A special shout out to http://www.abc-of-yoga.com for their excellent yoga pictures.

1.      Upon entering the yoga studio, you immediately scoff as the 98% humidity enters your lungs, accompanied by the whoosh of 99°. I recommend showing up a smidge early to acclimate to this hellish environment that will surround you for the next 60 minutes.

2.      Depending on the studio, your class might get packed pretty tightly. Place your mat in a spot that says, “Please don’t sit by me,” because soon your body will be dripping sweat and you don’t want to get splattered. “Is it this gross?” you’re thinking, and the answer is yes, it is. Your instructor might begin by telling you to find your third eye- just smile, hold your hands in a prayer pose, and nod knowingly. You still get a good workout even if you can’t find your connection to Mother Earth.

3.      Class will begin with a series of poses and vin-yah-sahs (I like to think of creative sanskrit spellings). Everything is going great- you are stretching, balancing, and breathing! Yoga is based a lot on breathing, which is the hardest part for me. First, whenever they are chanting, “Inhale…Exhale…Inhale…” I’m always doing the opposite. Then I start hyperventilating trying to get caught up- like the heat wasn’t making light headed enough. Sometimes they make you do ooo-jah-eee breathing where you have to make this weird loud noise. I literally cannot make myself do this, it’s just silly and I don’t buy into the praise the instructor gives those who do it really loud.

4.      After about 20 minutes the heat really starts to get to you. You are attempting to do poses like Warrior I:

But the real workout is coming from trying not to slip on your sweaty feet. Then they try and get you into Crow:

At which point you’re like, “Wow, I never knew my knees and elbows could sweat until I tried to hold this pose.” Then, when you’re all “warmed up” and pliable they make you do Plow:

Which feels more to me like choking on your boobs. All hopes of ooo-jah-ee are gone.

5.      So now you’re pretty much melting and wondering what time it is. You glance to your side and notice that the shirtless man next to you is literally dripping all over the place with sweat. Then the instructor says, “Are you hot? Just blow out the heat with your breathing.” If you slapped them right then it would really mess with the chi of the room, so just towel off and get a drink of your now hot water.

6.      Finally comes the best part of class- final sa-vah-sa-nah. You get to lay down and tell yourself positive affirmations. If you’re lucky you’ll get a nice cool, scented towel from your instructor. Try to enjoy the position before you run out to take that first sip of fresh air. There is literally nothing better than the feeling of that first breath after class. And now, you’ve done it! Go forth and spread your Namaste-ness. 

Guilt.

As I went to my freezer for another dose of Ben and Jerry’s American Dream, I opened the lid to find that a mysterious amount of the delectable ice cream was gone. “What!?!” I thought. “Who ate my ice cream?” Suddenly, I remembered that I live alone, meaning that I was the one who had eaten said ice cream. As I stared at the silky swirls of caramel that familiar feeling began to sink into my stomach. Guilt.  I made a face very similar to this:

Guilt is a funny thing, and I think that we often feel it more than we realize. There are many types of guilt, for example:

·         I shouldn’t have eaten that guilt

·         I’m a bad friend guilt

·         My family will be mad guilt

·         I was just mean guilt

·         I shouldn’t have bought that guilt

·         It’s all my fault guilt

·         I wasn’t supposed to be doing that guilt

As many of you know, it was my New Year’s resolution to not judge others as I feel this is a very bad trait of mine. What I’ve found is that when I do judge people, ie: the stinky hippie next to me on the elliptical today, I instantly feel bad that I scrunched up my nose when he got next to me. I don’t know this guy.  Maybe he has an allergy to soap? Mad respect for making it to the gym on a Saturday morning is more along the lines of what I should be saying to this guy. I’m guilty.

The trouble with feeling guilty is that often there is little you can do but move on and try to make a better choice next time. I think of my students when I say, “Was that a good choice or a poor choice?”  I’ll try to remember this quote the next time I’m feeling bad, and hopefully be ready to move on:

Bon appetit!

 I’ve had a sneaky suspicion lately that I might be a bit of a culinary genius. I took my first cooking class a few weeks back and stared in awe as the woman showed me how to…wait for it…chop an onion! Okay, so my genius might be in the developmental stages right now, but what it comes down to is that I love food. I know, it’s a pretty bold statement, but I’m not afraid to admit the fact that I absolutely love the taste, smell, and look of wonderful food.

I read an article that really made me think about my food obsessions. There is this new term floating around called “food porn”. Food porn includes those delectable pictures of an ooey, gooey, creamy and chocolatey dessert or that big, juicy, cheese-covered burger. See below:

 

When we look at these pictures, apparently our brain gets turned on and we want to eat. They say our brains are even more turned on by pictures than actual food in front of our salivating little faces! It all goes back to the cave man days they say, though I’m pretty sure the Neanderthals didn’t have food porn to browse on Pinterest.

I guess what I found so fascinating about this food porn idea is that I know now why looking up all of those recipes can be so addicting, I also now know why I’ve wanted to be one of those food photographers, (this article did not however explain why I want to be the person who squishes up make up samples and photographs those cool smudges and color combos). What still leaves me baffled, however, is this idea of a “foodie”. I consider a foodie one of those people that is obsessed with food, talks about it with big and usually French words, and makes you feel like the most you know about food is that French fries come from potatoes. I find these people to be kind of annoying.  

 I’m no foodie, but if I can turn this:

Into this:

I will still respond to the name Culinary Genius. Bon appetit!