50 Shades of Green

Earlier this summer, my friend and I decided that we had a serious need for a serious trip. 24 hours later we had booked our trip to Ireland. I had always dreamed of vising the Land of Green and soaking in every second of the cute accents, the endless pastures, and the grazing sheep. I'm happy to say that Ireland definitely didn't disappoint. Here are a few highlights from my fabulous trip:

1. The Irish people are nothing short of wonderful. Upon my arrival, I expected a plethora of gingers dressed in green plaid to greet me with a jolly sounding, "Top o' the mornin' to you!" Definitely was disappointed with this one. Despite their reputations, I found the Irish people to be very quiet and simple people who were extremely friendly and willing to help. Most people seemed to be rather Americanized, though we did notice some distinct trends. First, you'll be able to spot an Irish guy really easily because they all wear the same uniform of gray sweatpants, Adidas jacket, and gym bag (see below).

The Irish girls seemed to be really into the trend of wearing tights with short shorts on top. I think they should seriously rethink this. The group of people that totally lived up to their stereotype were the old men. Their newsie caps were snug on their heads as they bobbed down the street with a cane. Could they be any more adorable?

2. People always say that they food is awful in Ireland. So yeah, I guess if you hate potatoes, cream, butter, beef from the biggest cows I have ever seen, and the best bacon of your life, the food would suck. With the exception of the black pudding (look it up, just the thought of it makes me stomach churn), the food was delightful.

 I also think I need to make a special mention of quite possibly the best thing I have ever eaten. You see, my friend and I are big fans of the film Love Actually. In this movie, there is a scene where a chick is offering up a piece of her banoffee pie. We were on a serious mission to find this pie. After going from pub to pub we were finally successful. The graham cracker crust, toffee, whipped cream, and bananas were a lot like heaven. Clearly the Irish coffee helped too :)

3. As most people know, my Asian genes don't exactly allow me to be much of a drinker. However, you can't go to Ireland and not have a pint of Guiness. I don't feel that I'm exaggerating when I say that the Guiness I drank in Ireland was literally the best beer I have ever drank in my life. The best part was that you can order a mini glass! It's like they knew I was coming.

 

4. Driving in Ireland is a real treat. Lucky for me, my sweet friend managed to drive the whole time while I was in charge of navigation. I'm sure you're thinking, alright, we get it, it's hard to drive on the left. This is true, though my friend owned the driving and even parallel parked on our first night (see proof below)

 But what you may not realize is that Ireland's nickname is The Land of Roundabouts. You see, outside of the city there are no stoplights or stop signs, only roundabouts...which go clockwise by the way. It's a bit nerve wrecking to read your Google Maps directions and see, "Continue straight through next 8 roundabouts, then take the 4th exit." Wait, what? Also, there are typically no street signs. I'm sure the truck drivers got a kick out of us cringing at them as they passed us, our bodies leaned as far to the left side of the car as possible as if this will help us not get hit on what can barely be called a two lane road. Let's just say it was an adventure that tried our patience.

5. Because much of our travel was done across the Irish countryside, we were constantly coming across sheep and cows. You hear about the sheep as being typical parts of the scenery and I found myself constantly shouting, "Sheep!" at just about every animal I saw. But about half the time I was wrong, because they were in fact cows. These were literally the biggest and furriest cows I have ever seen in my life. Apparently they are called Kerry cows and can only be found in Ireland. They make great ice cream too.

6. Before I left for our trip, my mom asked what we were going to see. From my one hour of research, I determined that our trip would pretty much consist of churches and castles. I think that maybe it is a requirement of every town to have these two things. What was most impressive about these buildings was that a. St. Mary is a really big deal and b. Ireland has such a longer history than we do in America. We saw so many that I have no idea what their names are, but they were impressive and fun to explore.

7. Everything in Ireland is beautiful. I was originally nervous that we'd miss out on the fields of green because we were traveling during the winter, but luckily Ireland stays green all year round. My three favorite things that we saw were:

The Long Room at Trinity College

Blarney Castle & Gardens

The Cliffs of Moher

I know these things are all very famous and everyone talks about them, but there is good reason for that. They are amazing.

So there in a nutshell is my journey through Ireland. I always feel so blessed to have traveled to so many places, and I'm already looking forward to my next trip. Who knows where we'll end up the next time we get bored!

Thankful

Well, shockingly I missed the boat on the 28 Days of Thanksgiving this year...again. But never fear, I've prepared my list of days 1-20 just for you! As I reflected on my year, I feel that I've had countless blessings as well as my share of hardships. Because this has been such an eventful year, I've looked at the people in my life and realized that I am surrounded by literally the best people on the planet. Therefore, my list is of things to be thankful for this year is a list of 20 people who make my life better (in no particular order mind you).  I <3 you all and Happy early Thanksgiving!

1. My mom- for being my best friend, always listening, and inspiring me to be a better person. Also for teaching me that it's okay to eat spaghetti for breakfast. I would not be who I am without you.
2. My dad- for loving me unconditionally, pushing me to be my best, trying to listen to me, and teaching me everything I know about baseball.
3. My sister- for letting me repeatedly cry on her shoulder, accepting me as the loud ass little sister I am, sharing her wisdom, and singing the entire Little Mermaid soundtrack with me.
4. My PoPo- for knowing when I need a hug, laughing and calling me crazy girl in Chinese, and making me shitake mushrooms every time I come home.
5. My Gramps- for teaching me to fish, letting me sit in his lap, singing me Croatian songs, and giving me a lifetime of memories. I miss him every single day.
6. My Gung Gung- for teaching my family to love, strive for the stars, accept nothing less than perfection, and remember that all sports are fixed. Thanksgiving will not be the same without you and your video camera.
7. My Nonie- for her faith in our family, teaching me that Catholics can be Democrats, sewing a face on Orange Bear, and pie.
8. Amanda- for appreciating my sarcastic humor, being my voice of reason, explaining current events to me, deciphering text messages with me, and showing daily that someone cares about me. Oh, and for making Lucas.
9. Abby- for her sage wisdom, kind words, inspiring me to run, and saving me from the dull abyss that is a staff meeting.
10. Allison-for always listening, laughing at my inappropriate comments, sending the best one line texts ever, talking me through those difficult times, and quoting Titanic from start to finish.
11. Di- for always supporting and encouraging me, inviting me be your zoo buddy, keeping me laughing (g word), and making raptor hands.
12. Laura- for being my traveling, shopping, and baking buddy and sharing my love of glitter and accessories.
13. Pam- for inspiring me to be a better person, teaching me to be a better teacher, listening to my verbal processing, and dancing with me down the hallway to the music of Motown. You are my sanity Every. Single. Day.
14. Brenda- for gym time counseling sessions, thoughtful advice, always treating me like my opinion matters, and laughing at my idiocy.
15. Chelsea- for giving me confidence, sending me messages that literally make me laugh out loud, unconditional love, and making me feel less guilty about the number of times I say "fuck" in a day.
16. Jana-for singing at the top of her lungs, helping me see the sunny side of life, her ability to fill a room with laughter, and letting me color in her coloring book.
17. Erin- for helping me survive college, supporting my crazy antics (ie: darb, canned soup toss, jeep hijacking, and hula hooping with RT), teaching me about Hanukkah, and being able to pick up our friendship over many years and miles.
18. Matty- for being my single and fabulous friend this summer, for checking in on me when I'm blue, and for using the term "aggressive" as I would. #littlebrother
19. Nikl- for sharing his love of Harry Potter with me, always being kind, offering me a helping hand whenever I may need it, and for adjusting my back all with a big smile on his face.
20. Dougie- for using Friends references, laughing with me, permitting me to use # phrases in high volume, and being a genuine friend. And for proposing to Di :)

And Now a Word From the Tall Girls...

A few days ago I posted a blog all about the joys of being short. I asked my friend to write a follow up to present the other side of the height spectrum since we often commiserate with one another when discussing our vertical challenges. Oh, and because I <3 her pretty face. So without further ado, here is her amazingly well written response.

Tall People Problems

After reading my good friend’s “Short People Problems” blog post, and seeing some of her 5’3” perspective, I will admit I have a new understanding of her frustrations of being short.  But, I think it’s only fair that I share the frustrations from the tall end of the spectrum.  

All my life I’ve been “above average” height for a girl.  I grew until I was in my early twenties, and finally stopped once I reached 5’10”... a tall 5’10” but I can’t quite claim 5’11”.  

When I was younger I was constantly being asked if I played basketball.  No? Oh, then volleyball. No??  Well, at least you swim backstroke… No? But you’re so tall!  …Yeah, that doesn’t automatically mean I’m good at certain sports.  Why does being tall have so many preconceived notions surrounding it?

Sometimes it feels strange because I can see over most of my girlfriends’ heads. It’s something I’m used to, but every now and then when spending time with my girls, I’ll have this realization that I’m towering over them and it trips me out!  Can we just sit down somewhere?

Lucky for me, my boyfriend is 6’3” (and devastatingly handsome), and I never feel awkward about my height around him.  But, I know plenty of other women who have felt self-conscious because their partner is shorter. The truth is, we live in a society where it’s strange for a woman to be with a man who is shorter than she is.  But when a woman is shorter than her partner, she’s seen as more feminine; it’s normal and more acceptable.  My cousin once dated a guy who was several inches shorter and after they broke up someone told her to “please never date a short guy again, it was weird.”  What??  Tell her not to date someone who treats her poorly, height shouldn’t dictate whether or not you feel comfortable holding hands in public.  Props to Rhea Pearlman and Danny DeVito for not letting height deter their relationship!

Really, the biggest problem with being tall is finding clothes.  Thank the good lord for skinny jeans because in them I can get away with a 34” inseam, but even those are hard to find.  Oh, and that adorable jacket in the store window?  Nope, the sleeves land roughly two inches above my wrist. Just about everything long sleeved in my closet ends up getting pushed or rolled up, so it’s all ¾ sleeves, and you’d be surprised how many skirts should be marked as ‘mini’.  Short people have to hem their pants, but at least you can hem!  There’s only so much fabric and then it’s over!  We tall people have nothing to work with!

Yes, there are frustrations that come with being tall and when I was younger, I hated it.  But to be completely honest… aside from still getting mad when the clothes at the mall aren’t made for my long limbs... I’m actually pretty happy with my height.  It’s something I can’t change, so I’ve come to embrace it.  I hope all tall and short people can learn to feel comfortable in their own skin, we are how we are, so find a way to love it… and to the average height people: shut up, nobody asked you. just kidding!  But if anyone needs something off the top shelf, I’ll just be at the nearest basketball court doing slam dunks...

Short People Problems

Have you ever heard the song "Short People" by Randy Newman? You should probably Google it, that or just believe me when I say it's one of the most offensive songs of our time. You see, I'm a short person. I tower at just about 5'3" and sometimes I get frustrated with the disadvantages of being short. Among the things that short people have to deal with are:

1. Tall people. Let me tell you a little story about how my friend is 5'10" and I feel like a gnome every time I stand next to her. A conversation can only commence once we are both sitting and literally on the same level. I have to consciously make sure I'm wearing my big girl heels when I see her so as to avoid feeling like the smallest person on the planet. It only gets worse when her boyfriend comes into the picture...then I'm lost in the land of giants. *sigh* Can't I just be like them?

2. Other people's laundry. Wiggity what? That's right, I have a laundry room in my building where the dryer is on top. It just so happens that I am so short that I cannot see into said dryer. So on numerous occasions I will be folding my laundry and finding other people's nasty clothes mixed in with mine. You cannot tell me this happens to tall people.

3. Climbing on kitchen counters. I am literally a Spider-Woman acrobat in my kitchen. I can cling to counter tops, jump from side to side, and launch to the tippy top shelf if need be. We short people must adapt to cabinets made by tall meanies.

4. Pants that will never fit. You know something is wrong when the capri pants hit you perfectly at the ankle. Just once I'd like to buy a pair of pants that don't require hemming. A girl can dream I guess.

5. A difficult BMI to maintain. Laugh it up tall people, but because I'm short, the doctor tells me I have to also weigh less than you. Can I help that the Big Man made me in a slightly smaller package? Why must I now also work out harder?

Now don't get me wrong, there are advantages to being short too. For example, I can always wear tall shoes and  use my height to get me out of riding a terrifying roller coaster. I also know that being tall isn't that great because once I tried it out by standing on a chair. I asked my tall friend if it was the view he was used to having and he merely laughed. I'll tell you what, I've been to the top, and I didn't see the Promised Land. I saw lots of dust and a serious drop down. Heights are the worst.

So while there are many disadvantages to being short, and my feet may never reach the ground while sitting on a barstool, I suppose that I will accept my miniature frame as it is. Someone else is going to have to start doing my laundry though.

Notice Me!

I was recently walking around downtown with my friend. Suddenly, he looked at me, and we had the following conversation:

Friend: So do you just walk around looking at other women's boobs all the time?
Me: Um, no. Why, do you?
Friend: Yes, they are everywhere!
Me: I only notice if they are in my face. Women need to be careful with their cleavage, nothing more than 1/2 an inch is really necessary.
Friend: Yeah, I can see that. But I like it, women should show it all the time.
Me: That's aggressive.

I took two things away from this conversation. 1. I love my friend for these random conversations and 2. Women think that men notice a whole lot of things that they in fact do not. I find this highly interesting because women spend a great amount of time worrying about many things that they believe men notice ie: what we wear, what kind of a hair day we are having, and the color of our nail polish. However there are times when I suddenly realize that men and women are completely on different pages with this. Once a guy looked at me and asked, "So do you have a different necklace for like EVERY outfit?" My response was something along the lines of, "Uh yeah, that's kind of the point." He looked shocked, when in my mind, I was wondering how it took him so long to notice my accessorizing skills.

I thought I'd do a little research to test my hypothesis of men and women noticing different things about one another. After collecting data from a variety of specimens/friends I've learned the following.

Men pay attention to:

• Body parts

Women pay attention to:

• Smile
• Eyes
• Bulging biceps
• Clothing- including, but not limited to: color, brand, size, fit, and coordination
• Overall hygiene
• Laugh
• Interaction with others
• What men are actually saying, (and yes, we will remember every word, sorry boys)

From this data, I feel confident in saying that a. women get a whole lot more out of 5 minutes than men, and b. men are much simpler than women believe them to be. In my mind, women should really be more aware of this because it would save them a  lot of needless worry.

I once read that the number one thing that people notice about one another is if they look like they are happy or not. This thought has really stuck with me especially when I can feel myself scowling after a grueling day at work or laying on the floor at the gym "stretching" aka trying to recuperate from near death. I think if women can find a way to show their happiness they will find much more success with the opposite sex than they would with  a 1/2 inch of cleavage. Though let's be real ladies, accessories kind of do make you happier right? So glam it up and smile, because all eyes are on you Little Miss Fabulous!

Body Movin'

I think my mom might be the cutest patootest person in the whole world. You see, she's recently started a new work out routine and she calls to give me the run down of all of the insane things her new gym drill sergeant makes her do. My favorite thus far was when she told me her trainer told her to reach farther as she did the row machine. She then told me she'd really like to do this, but her belly gets in the way. Haha, like I said, my mom is fantastic.

At any rate, the madre says that these workouts often make her think of me, because I am the daughter that is the gym rat. Some people can't stand the place, but I find the routine and convenience unbeatable. The thing about the gym though, is that it is a really awesomely weird place. In fact, I can't believe it's taken me this long to write about it. So below are a few gems from my experiences at the gym.

1. Gyms are an untapped resource for people watching. Some people think gyms are boring and they can't stand the thought of working out on a machine for 45 minutes. Clearly, they have never looked up as they rode that elliptical into the ground. Watching people at the gym is the best part of my day. In particular, I love watching the beefcakes walk into the men's locker room as they slyly check themselves out in the mirror. "We can all see you!" I want to shout. "Nice flame/tribal/barbed wire tattoo, bro!" But I don't because I'm afraid they'll stop doing it and then who will I chuckle at?

2. Gyms are home to my best friend/worst enemy: the treadmill. I say this because anyone that has ever had a conversation about exercising with me probably knows that I loathe running. To me it is the hardest thing on the planet. I attribute this to my little Asian lungs and Buddha-esque legs. My two best friends however, love to run. So this summer they inspired me to fire up the treadmill and go for a run. I've now gotten to the point where I don't completely want to die, and occasionally even feel like this:

 But usually when I start feeling that way, I look in the mirror and realize that I'm moving at a turtle's pace and it's more like this:

Let's just say it's a work in progress.

3. Gyms are eclectic.  When you are working out at a gym, you are surrounded by a wide array of people. You've got the meat heads that look like cartoons because they can't pull their arms down to their sides due to their awkwardly bulging muscles. You've also got the adorable senior citizens who show up 30 minutes early for their Silver Sneakers class and hold onto the handles of the treadmill. You've got the people who are just there to say they went to the gym, which is obvious due to the fact that they are exercising in full makeup and no sports bra. Finally, you've got the people like me, who are there to get a good workout in and check out the hot trainers.

4. Gyms are motivating. I just attended a weight lifting class last week where the teacher was a mix of Molly Weasley and Hells Angels complete with fanny pack and sweatband. She walked around doing bicep curls while screaming at us, "Push harder!", "No cheating!", "Watch your body CHANGE!" I was sweating boatloads by the end when I realized that this crazy lady had really motivated me to try harder. Between trainers like that and the 80+ year old man training for the marathon, I'd say it's time for me to put it into high gear.

 

5. Gyms make me feel mighty. I think the reason I keep going back to the gym is I feel like a rock star after I'm done. I know I'm never going to be the skinniest little thing in the world, but I've learned that I can do things that I never thought I could. There are few things more rewarding than being able to say that I crushed that last spin class or that I just completed 800+ reps in Body Pump. I find myself giving serious props to those people I see at the gym that are obviously struggling with their weight. I've learned to celebrate the small wins with my body because weight is a hard thing to deal with, and getting off your ass is harder still. But even if you're only there for a half hour, you're still mightier than when you walked in, and that is pretty fabulous.

Let's Talk About Ex Baby

According to some, I am now the guru of breakups. I don't know how I got this title, nor do I feel that I am an expert by any means. Whatever it is, apparently people feel the need to talk to me when they are either thinking about breaking up with their someone, or they have just done so. And on this note, I think there are a few key things to keep in mind when it comes to your ex.

The number one thing I don't understand is how people always want to see their ex. They want to "touch base" or "find closure." In my experience seeing your ex will lead to either walking down memory lane and crying or remembering all of the reasons why you broke up in the first place and cursing. Just the thought of my former boyfriends makes me cringe and wonder how I let myself make such terrible decisions. This is why I choose to avoid them altogether. I recently saw my ex to pick up the last of my belongings that he had been kidnapping for the past seven months and it was super Miley Cyrus- aka awkward and unnecessary. Seriously, cut them off and move on.

The trouble I've found is that staying away can be hard when you have the same friends. It's almost like you have to draw up a contract with your ex saying who has custody of the friends on what days. When it comes to your mutual friends the key is to NOT put them in the middle. Put on your big girl pants and save the drama for your next diary entry. If you two should cross paths I recommend a. dressing like a fox and b. taking the high road by saying hi first. Along the same lines of having mutual friends, please do not try to befriend your ex. This will never work because chances are, you've let your ex Lewis and Clark your body. Do you let your other friends do that? I hope not. Therefore, exes do not equal friends.

The last thing I think should be said about your ex is that being lonely and single is not a good enough reason to get back together. Just because something is familiar and comfortable doesn't make it right, it makes you afraid. All of those issues that put you on the single bus will be right there waiting for you when you decide to give it another try ie: "We can get back together if you change this, this, this, this, and this. Okay?" Um no, not okay. It also puts all of your friends who have coached you through the break up in a really sticky situation. You know how uncomfortable you felt when you heard Rhianna and Chris Brown might be getting back together? Yeah, we kind of feel like that.

There in a nutshell are the breakup guru's words of sage wisdom. And if you forget everything I've said, just remember that unless your ex is Mr. Big, it's time to move onward and upward.