How smart is a smart phone?

I was always one of those people that claimed that they didn’t “need” a smart phone. I just make phone calls and send text messages, why would I need something with email, games, maps, a camera, and facebook? Well, my tune has changed a bit since I’ve now invested in my first smart phone. You see, it’s amazing how many random questions that you need answered in a day. For example, just recently I had to Google to see when Saturday mail delivery ends (no date set yet) and how to say welcome in Tahitian (maeva!). All this would not be possible without my fabulous phone.

I’ve also found that your phone can be quite handy as you travel, which is good for me because it helps me pretend to be spontaneous. I say pretend, because I no longer have to go in a panic when I make a left instead of a right, I just follow my little Google map, I just slightly have to sweat. I’ve mapped out traffic patterns, found a brewery, and my personal favorite- I know the 5 day weather forecast for wherever I go (my friends call me the meteorologist). 

The only danger in this incredibly smart phone is that you can really hide behind it. If you want to avoid conversation while you stand in line, you check your facebook. If you want something to entertain you while you wait for your friend to get back from the bathroom, you check your email. The phone continues to get dangerous as you get bombarded by alarms you’ve set on your calendar, and emails that need to be answered on that damn teeny tiny keyboard, and my phone even makes frightening thunder sounds when it rains…suddenly your little sidekick seems to be causing you to be more overwhelmed than helped. This is ironic because when you don’t have your phone you in fact feel helpless. That, and you wonder to yourself how the hell there is somewhere on the planet that still doesn’t have cell service. 

I guess my opinion on this handy little invention is that it is really quite fabulous, however it shouldn’t replace human interaction. So check the weather one last time, and put that thing away. Can you hear me now?

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I’ve always been a fan of people watching, in fact I typically buy extra dark sun glasses in order to sneak an extra peak of the weird and wonderful people surrounding me. Recently, I went on a trip and learned that the airport is in fact one of the best people watching places.  You see, there is something about traveling by air that sends ordinary people into quite a tizzy. This ends up being quite entertaining for those of us who have flown, say, within the last ten years. Among the most entertaining things I observed at the airport were:

   1.       People who don’t understand how to go through a security line. I know you’re thinking this isn’t entertaining, this is so flipping obnoxious! But really, what could be more humorous than watching people undress rapidly, shove all of their belongings in a tub, and shuffle through a body scanner with their mismatched socks. It literally boggles my mind how hard this is for people. And don’t worry, I always seem to choose the line that has the most morons in it like hey, I didn’t know my belt had metal on it, or what do you mean I can’t have my phone in my pocket? Deep yoga breathing and finding the humor help me progress through the line.

2.       People traveling with small children. Okay, now I know you’re going to think I’m mean for saying this, but sometimes I think traveling parents need to a. chill out and b. pack less shit to entertain their child. I’m not a parent, but I am a teacher, and I can tell you that giving your kid some paper and crayons will yield less crying and more brain cells than your iphone with an episode of Sesame Street (also for the record, the rest of us don’t want to listen to Big Bird). Among the most entertaining thing that parents do is use their giant strollers as battering rams to get through crowds… yeah, don’t do that.

3.       People who can’t read. Surely you didn’t read that correctly, everyone knows how to read! Apparently not at the airport, nor do people know how to listen. They tell you to line up in numerical order to board the plane, so you just push in front of everyone right? The sign tells you to board at a certain gate, so you get ticked when you go to the wrong gate right? My favorite of course is when every ticket and announcement says that there are no assigned seats and you ask what your seat number is. Okay, so maybe this one isn’t entertaining and my comments are dripping with sarcasm, but hey it still makes for good people watching.

I encourage you to watch for these characters the next time you take a ride on a jet plane. While flying can be stressful, finding amusement in others may just lighten your trip.Or just reinforce that stupid people are not just annoying but humorous too.