Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Trendsetter

Trends, fads, what's en vogue...it seems like every week there is something new that I'm suppose to watch, wear, eat, or listen to. As far as most trends go, I'll be the first to admit that I've joined a few bandwagons. I tried the new Starbucks s'mores Frappuccino and enjoyed every blissful calorie.  I took the little quiz to see who my Facebook soul mate was. And I even watched every game of the NBA finals...okay, so mostly because Hot Stuff was watching and I wanted LeBron to lose, but whatever, I did it. My point is, whether we want to admit it or not, we do things often because we hear about them from others. And in the age of social media, our options for bandwagon-ing are limitless. What I'd like to discuss is that there are many trends that everyone loves, but that I definitely don't. Here are my top 5:

1. Game of Thrones- I'd like to start off by saying that this show is terrible. For the first two seasons, I was totally on board because, well, everyone else was and John Snow is pretty foxy. But the more I watched, the more I realized that this show makes absolutely no sense at all. There are 5,304 characters with God awful names that no one can remember, a plot that gets about 4 minutes of development before it changes to something else, and so much disturbing sex and violence that I have to read a book while I watch to avoid feeling squeamish. I just can't pretend to be into it anymore. I'm sorry all you GOT fans, but winter is not coming, it's over.


2. Selfies- I think that while social media is pretty amazing in many ways, it has also created the most gratuitous culture in all the land. And what irks me probably more than it should is the freaking selfie. Ooo, look at me, I'm in the gym locker room! Ooo, look at me, I can look dramatic and earrings are pretty neat. Ooo, look at me, I love me so much I bought a stick to put my phone on so I don't have to ask someone to take 15 photos of the same scenario to make sure I look like a babe. Perhaps I hate selfies so much because I have freakishly short arms and a rather large head, so in every pic I try to snap, you pretty much just get forehead. Sigh. The struggle is real. I would like to add to this one, that while I hate your ironic pout, I do love watching you take your selfies...yeah, we can all see you...

3. Hipsters- We went out this weekend to what apparently was the new hip-happening place to go in Denver. I know this because as I casually sipped my handmade, microbrewed, and overpriced cocktail, I found myself suddenly surrounded by a sea of hipsters. You know the type- lots of bow ties, undoubtedly non-prescription glasses, clever feather jewelry, ironic facial hair, etc. At any rate, seeing all these individualists led to a very interesting conversation about what exactly constitutes a hipster (see here). My point is, I try to be very respectful and nonjudgmental of others and I'm totally down with people who are themselves- you do you! But when you take on the attitude that you are better than everyone and your pretentious nature is stifling the dance floor, it's time to go. 

4. Next Generation Lingo- I feel like I'm getting to the point in my life where more and more often I'm using the phrase, "I'm too old for this shit." A prime example of this is when I hear the terms that "kids" are using these days (and by kids I mean my younger cousins and students). It all started with "YOLO" which led to "bae" which then morphed to "ratchetry." You guys...these are not real words. And while they may have definitions on Urban Dictionary, they are unlikely to become the Oxford Dictionaries Word of the Year. At least I hope not. Please stop using them in everyday conversation or in your Instagram hashtags, because us old people don't know what they mean and have to Google it. I also suspect that this abuse of the English language is causing you to do poorly on your spelling tests. Thanks, bae.

5. Apple- I can hear you now, "Oh no she didn't..." But I did. I cannot and probably will not ever get on the Apple train. I don't care about your iPhone, iWatch, iAnything because they make little to no sense to me. My fingers are too fat for the keys, I can't ever figure out what window I'm in or how to close it, and I think that the whole "unveiling" process deserves less than a slow clap. I also think it's unfair that I get discriminated against for having an Android- sorry ma'am, that app is only available for Apple. So you don't think that Androids want to play on Doorsteps Swipe too!?! (It's Tinder for houses, aka medicine for the soul of every HGTV addict, look it up.) I suppose everyone has different preferences for everything, but iHope that there will be more technology equality soon.


Now in hopes of not sounding like a total hater, I'd like to add that just because I dislike something doesn't mean you have to too. We all have things that we love and things that make us a bit batty. But hopefully you got to think a bit about what trends you're a fan of, and which ones need to leave. Because let's be real here, that's the only way society got acid washed jeans and scrunchies to retire. Thank goodness for that.