Thursday, July 26, 2012

Hey, It's Okay...

I'm an avid magazine reader, and among my favorites is Glamour magazine. And inside this piece of literature, my favorite page is the "Hey, It's Okay..." page where it lists many things that are, well frankly they are okay to agree with. So to pay homage to this entertaining magazine, I have created my own list of things that I hope you also think are okay.

Hey, it's okay...
 

  • to take pictures of your feet just to prove that you were somewhere.
  • to consider a veggie burger as a vegetable serving.
  • to judge people who don't send thank you cards. It's common decency people.
  • to scoff at people who still don't recycle. Global warming is real my friends, the jig is up. So do your part.
  • to consider shopping exercise. Old people can walk around malls, so why can't you? Plus you have all those bags to carry...
  • to secretly hate those women at the gym who work out in only their sports bras. We already know you're fit, we don't need your abs to reinforce this on us as we are dying on the treadmill.
  • to call your mom to see what type of meat you need to make that pot roast.
  • to stand up for yourself and say what you want. This is especially true when talking to your hairdresser, the person doing your pedicure, your auto mechanic, and your boyfriend.
  • to know every song from the Lion King and to sing along, most especially to the beginning of the Circle of Life.
  • to base your travels on things you collect. In my case this means taking pictures at the state line, getting stamps in my National Park passport, and buying city Starbucks mugs.
  • to think that your family is simply the best family in the world.
  • to ask for your Shirley Temple shaken not stirred.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Sexy and I Know It


Well, it’s an ordinary Monday and I decided to check my email. After completing this task I logged out and was brought to a screen that said “Now you can browse the internet in a way that is stylish and sexy,” paraphrasing for copyright reasons of course. Upon reading this I immediately took up my thinking face, (you know, one eyebrow up, one down). What on earth makes checking my email or surfing the web “sexy” or “stylish”? I suppose some people think what they are doing online makes them feel sexy, but I call it pervy.

This so called sexy internet browsing got me to thinking about just how overused the term “sexy” is. We all know that sex sells, but must we now call everything from our chocolate bars, to our shoes, to our cars sexy? My inner teacher tells me that there must be a better array of words that can be used to attract people’s attention.  The biggest danger in this overuse of “sexy” is that people are using it incredibly incorrectly. For the record I would like to state that the following are not in fact “sexy”.
  • That time of the month. Sure your tampon brand may make you feel comfortable going to a swimming pool, but in no way does it even remotely make me feel “sexy”. It makes me feel hungry and bloated
  •    That swoosh of hair in front of your eyes, like Beiber style. This is not “sexy” especially when you have to shake your head in one direction repeatedly to keep it in place. You look like a fool with a neck twitch, not “sexy”.
  •  Food. On a TV show I was watching, the host hopeful kept talking about “sexy” food. Uh, maybe delicious, savory, or mouthwatering. But “sexy” is just the wrong word. Who feels sexy after they chow down?
  • Cars. Most men think their cars make them “sexy”, or that the car itself is “sexy”. I may say your car is clean, or your car is fast, but “sexy”, no. This is especially true when you rev the engine loudly in an intersection, or when you drive laid back with one hand on the wheel. You think your car makes you “sexy” but mostly it makes me smirk at you.
And so friends, the next time you consider using the adjective “sexy” to describe something, I want you to really think about it. I’m on JT’s side and think that we do in fact need to bring sexy back, but only for the nouns that really fit the requirements of the word. Now get back to your sexy browsing!