Is it hip to be a hippie?

As I was slowly drifting off to sleep last night, my nose suddenly sensed a familiar scent. Yes, my new neighbors were definitely burning incense, a true sign of a modern day hippie. Truth be told, I can't believe it's taken me this long to get how I feel about hippies off my chest. You see, I'm a teacher, so I'm as liberal as they come. However, I find that these so called "hippie" people are pretty lame. Okay, before you jump down my throat, know that I'm making a generalization based on a bit of experiences. My thinking is threefold:

1. Once at a bar in Boulder (aka Hippie Central) I noticed an empty table, so I grabbed it. I was then bombarded by a hippie who yelled at me and said I SO took his table. Frankly I was baffled as there was no sign of an inhabitant at said table. He then told me that he had "had his eye on it." Apparently this is hippie speak for "Table is Mine." I wanted to yell at him and stomp on his macrame shoe covered foot, but no, I was polite and just walked away. Peace and harmony my ass, that guy was rude!

2. Hippie people think that they are going to save the Earth by not showering. I've literally had hippies tell me that they don't bathe because it's not natural. To that I say, God invented soap for a reason. You're not a hippie just because you have poor grooming habits, that's called a hobo.

3. My final reason for being down on hippie people is that they think they are better than you. They scold you for forgetting your canvas grocery bags, look down on you for not buying organic, and sneer at you when you refuse to join the game of hacky sack. Fool, I drive a Prius! Who are you to judge yo? Now I do realize that by making this statement, I am also inferring that I think I am better than them, however I don't treat people differently because of they way the look. I treat people differently because of the way that they act. Totally different.

The irony of this whole blog is that today during my yoga class there was incense...damn hippies.

Holiday Mythology

Dreams were shattered today in my classroom. I thought I was asking about how everybody's Easter was, but what ended up happening was a boy raising his hand and declaring to the class that this year he learned the Easter bunny was in fact his mother. Of course my face instantly turned bright red and I had to fight the urge to yell, "Are you freaking kidding me, keep that to yourself!" as I looked around the class and saw some very stunned faces. This kid thinks he's made some great discovery, while others are going to go home crying...great.

I actually believed in things like the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, and Santa until about the age of 12. I know, I'm special. But on the day at the store when my mom looked at me and said, "Don't be surprised if you find this in your stocking," I was utterly surprised and very upset. I guess I'd just figured I'd find out if Santa was real when I had my own kids. You mean to tell me that every year that I've sprinted downstairs being careful not to touch any of my gifts, but crane my neck carefully to see what Santa had left me, it was all a farce? That Santa can't make the Ultimate Nsync Book or a Discman in his factory? Who the hell ate all those cookies? I guess I should've known when all my friends kept getting $20 from the Tooth Fairy, I was like, are your teeth made of gold or is the TF just cheap at my house? (Which by the way mom, you are not cheap, other parents are stupid. 20 bones for something that falls out of your face? Pull-eeze.)

Needless to say, I was pretty brokenhearted when I learned that all of these holiday friends were really just myths. I felt like I had been lied to, and also that my parents had been doing a lot of work behind the scenes to keep up the jig. I hope that when I have kids they'll keep believing as long as possible, or at least until some lame kid blows it for them at school.