And Now a Word From the Tall Girls...

A few days ago I posted a blog all about the joys of being short. I asked my friend to write a follow up to present the other side of the height spectrum since we often commiserate with one another when discussing our vertical challenges. Oh, and because I <3 her pretty face. So without further ado, here is her amazingly well written response.

Tall People Problems

After reading my good friend’s “Short People Problems” blog post, and seeing some of her 5’3” perspective, I will admit I have a new understanding of her frustrations of being short.  But, I think it’s only fair that I share the frustrations from the tall end of the spectrum.  

All my life I’ve been “above average” height for a girl.  I grew until I was in my early twenties, and finally stopped once I reached 5’10”... a tall 5’10” but I can’t quite claim 5’11”.  

When I was younger I was constantly being asked if I played basketball.  No? Oh, then volleyball. No??  Well, at least you swim backstroke… No? But you’re so tall!  …Yeah, that doesn’t automatically mean I’m good at certain sports.  Why does being tall have so many preconceived notions surrounding it?

Sometimes it feels strange because I can see over most of my girlfriends’ heads. It’s something I’m used to, but every now and then when spending time with my girls, I’ll have this realization that I’m towering over them and it trips me out!  Can we just sit down somewhere?

Lucky for me, my boyfriend is 6’3” (and devastatingly handsome), and I never feel awkward about my height around him.  But, I know plenty of other women who have felt self-conscious because their partner is shorter. The truth is, we live in a society where it’s strange for a woman to be with a man who is shorter than she is.  But when a woman is shorter than her partner, she’s seen as more feminine; it’s normal and more acceptable.  My cousin once dated a guy who was several inches shorter and after they broke up someone told her to “please never date a short guy again, it was weird.”  What??  Tell her not to date someone who treats her poorly, height shouldn’t dictate whether or not you feel comfortable holding hands in public.  Props to Rhea Pearlman and Danny DeVito for not letting height deter their relationship!

Really, the biggest problem with being tall is finding clothes.  Thank the good lord for skinny jeans because in them I can get away with a 34” inseam, but even those are hard to find.  Oh, and that adorable jacket in the store window?  Nope, the sleeves land roughly two inches above my wrist. Just about everything long sleeved in my closet ends up getting pushed or rolled up, so it’s all ¾ sleeves, and you’d be surprised how many skirts should be marked as ‘mini’.  Short people have to hem their pants, but at least you can hem!  There’s only so much fabric and then it’s over!  We tall people have nothing to work with!

Yes, there are frustrations that come with being tall and when I was younger, I hated it.  But to be completely honest… aside from still getting mad when the clothes at the mall aren’t made for my long limbs... I’m actually pretty happy with my height.  It’s something I can’t change, so I’ve come to embrace it.  I hope all tall and short people can learn to feel comfortable in their own skin, we are how we are, so find a way to love it… and to the average height people: shut up, nobody asked you. just kidding!  But if anyone needs something off the top shelf, I’ll just be at the nearest basketball court doing slam dunks...

Short People Problems

Have you ever heard the song "Short People" by Randy Newman? You should probably Google it, that or just believe me when I say it's one of the most offensive songs of our time. You see, I'm a short person. I tower at just about 5'3" and sometimes I get frustrated with the disadvantages of being short. Among the things that short people have to deal with are:

1. Tall people. Let me tell you a little story about how my friend is 5'10" and I feel like a gnome every time I stand next to her. A conversation can only commence once we are both sitting and literally on the same level. I have to consciously make sure I'm wearing my big girl heels when I see her so as to avoid feeling like the smallest person on the planet. It only gets worse when her boyfriend comes into the picture...then I'm lost in the land of giants. *sigh* Can't I just be like them?

2. Other people's laundry. Wiggity what? That's right, I have a laundry room in my building where the dryer is on top. It just so happens that I am so short that I cannot see into said dryer. So on numerous occasions I will be folding my laundry and finding other people's nasty clothes mixed in with mine. You cannot tell me this happens to tall people.

3. Climbing on kitchen counters. I am literally a Spider-Woman acrobat in my kitchen. I can cling to counter tops, jump from side to side, and launch to the tippy top shelf if need be. We short people must adapt to cabinets made by tall meanies.

4. Pants that will never fit. You know something is wrong when the capri pants hit you perfectly at the ankle. Just once I'd like to buy a pair of pants that don't require hemming. A girl can dream I guess.

5. A difficult BMI to maintain. Laugh it up tall people, but because I'm short, the doctor tells me I have to also weigh less than you. Can I help that the Big Man made me in a slightly smaller package? Why must I now also work out harder?

Now don't get me wrong, there are advantages to being short too. For example, I can always wear tall shoes and  use my height to get me out of riding a terrifying roller coaster. I also know that being tall isn't that great because once I tried it out by standing on a chair. I asked my tall friend if it was the view he was used to having and he merely laughed. I'll tell you what, I've been to the top, and I didn't see the Promised Land. I saw lots of dust and a serious drop down. Heights are the worst.

So while there are many disadvantages to being short, and my feet may never reach the ground while sitting on a barstool, I suppose that I will accept my miniature frame as it is. Someone else is going to have to start doing my laundry though.

Notice Me!

I was recently walking around downtown with my friend. Suddenly, he looked at me, and we had the following conversation:

Friend: So do you just walk around looking at other women's boobs all the time?
Me: Um, no. Why, do you?
Friend: Yes, they are everywhere!
Me: I only notice if they are in my face. Women need to be careful with their cleavage, nothing more than 1/2 an inch is really necessary.
Friend: Yeah, I can see that. But I like it, women should show it all the time.
Me: That's aggressive.

I took two things away from this conversation. 1. I love my friend for these random conversations and 2. Women think that men notice a whole lot of things that they in fact do not. I find this highly interesting because women spend a great amount of time worrying about many things that they believe men notice ie: what we wear, what kind of a hair day we are having, and the color of our nail polish. However there are times when I suddenly realize that men and women are completely on different pages with this. Once a guy looked at me and asked, "So do you have a different necklace for like EVERY outfit?" My response was something along the lines of, "Uh yeah, that's kind of the point." He looked shocked, when in my mind, I was wondering how it took him so long to notice my accessorizing skills.

I thought I'd do a little research to test my hypothesis of men and women noticing different things about one another. After collecting data from a variety of specimens/friends I've learned the following.

Men pay attention to:

• Body parts

Women pay attention to:

• Smile
• Eyes
• Bulging biceps
• Clothing- including, but not limited to: color, brand, size, fit, and coordination
• Overall hygiene
• Laugh
• Interaction with others
• What men are actually saying, (and yes, we will remember every word, sorry boys)

From this data, I feel confident in saying that a. women get a whole lot more out of 5 minutes than men, and b. men are much simpler than women believe them to be. In my mind, women should really be more aware of this because it would save them a  lot of needless worry.

I once read that the number one thing that people notice about one another is if they look like they are happy or not. This thought has really stuck with me especially when I can feel myself scowling after a grueling day at work or laying on the floor at the gym "stretching" aka trying to recuperate from near death. I think if women can find a way to show their happiness they will find much more success with the opposite sex than they would with  a 1/2 inch of cleavage. Though let's be real ladies, accessories kind of do make you happier right? So glam it up and smile, because all eyes are on you Little Miss Fabulous!