50 Shades of Green

Earlier this summer, my friend and I decided that we had a serious need for a serious trip. 24 hours later we had booked our trip to Ireland. I had always dreamed of vising the Land of Green and soaking in every second of the cute accents, the endless pastures, and the grazing sheep. I'm happy to say that Ireland definitely didn't disappoint. Here are a few highlights from my fabulous trip:

1. The Irish people are nothing short of wonderful. Upon my arrival, I expected a plethora of gingers dressed in green plaid to greet me with a jolly sounding, "Top o' the mornin' to you!" Definitely was disappointed with this one. Despite their reputations, I found the Irish people to be very quiet and simple people who were extremely friendly and willing to help. Most people seemed to be rather Americanized, though we did notice some distinct trends. First, you'll be able to spot an Irish guy really easily because they all wear the same uniform of gray sweatpants, Adidas jacket, and gym bag (see below).

The Irish girls seemed to be really into the trend of wearing tights with short shorts on top. I think they should seriously rethink this. The group of people that totally lived up to their stereotype were the old men. Their newsie caps were snug on their heads as they bobbed down the street with a cane. Could they be any more adorable?

2. People always say that they food is awful in Ireland. So yeah, I guess if you hate potatoes, cream, butter, beef from the biggest cows I have ever seen, and the best bacon of your life, the food would suck. With the exception of the black pudding (look it up, just the thought of it makes me stomach churn), the food was delightful.

 I also think I need to make a special mention of quite possibly the best thing I have ever eaten. You see, my friend and I are big fans of the film Love Actually. In this movie, there is a scene where a chick is offering up a piece of her banoffee pie. We were on a serious mission to find this pie. After going from pub to pub we were finally successful. The graham cracker crust, toffee, whipped cream, and bananas were a lot like heaven. Clearly the Irish coffee helped too :)

3. As most people know, my Asian genes don't exactly allow me to be much of a drinker. However, you can't go to Ireland and not have a pint of Guiness. I don't feel that I'm exaggerating when I say that the Guiness I drank in Ireland was literally the best beer I have ever drank in my life. The best part was that you can order a mini glass! It's like they knew I was coming.

 

4. Driving in Ireland is a real treat. Lucky for me, my sweet friend managed to drive the whole time while I was in charge of navigation. I'm sure you're thinking, alright, we get it, it's hard to drive on the left. This is true, though my friend owned the driving and even parallel parked on our first night (see proof below)

 But what you may not realize is that Ireland's nickname is The Land of Roundabouts. You see, outside of the city there are no stoplights or stop signs, only roundabouts...which go clockwise by the way. It's a bit nerve wrecking to read your Google Maps directions and see, "Continue straight through next 8 roundabouts, then take the 4th exit." Wait, what? Also, there are typically no street signs. I'm sure the truck drivers got a kick out of us cringing at them as they passed us, our bodies leaned as far to the left side of the car as possible as if this will help us not get hit on what can barely be called a two lane road. Let's just say it was an adventure that tried our patience.

5. Because much of our travel was done across the Irish countryside, we were constantly coming across sheep and cows. You hear about the sheep as being typical parts of the scenery and I found myself constantly shouting, "Sheep!" at just about every animal I saw. But about half the time I was wrong, because they were in fact cows. These were literally the biggest and furriest cows I have ever seen in my life. Apparently they are called Kerry cows and can only be found in Ireland. They make great ice cream too.

6. Before I left for our trip, my mom asked what we were going to see. From my one hour of research, I determined that our trip would pretty much consist of churches and castles. I think that maybe it is a requirement of every town to have these two things. What was most impressive about these buildings was that a. St. Mary is a really big deal and b. Ireland has such a longer history than we do in America. We saw so many that I have no idea what their names are, but they were impressive and fun to explore.

7. Everything in Ireland is beautiful. I was originally nervous that we'd miss out on the fields of green because we were traveling during the winter, but luckily Ireland stays green all year round. My three favorite things that we saw were:

The Long Room at Trinity College

Blarney Castle & Gardens

The Cliffs of Moher

I know these things are all very famous and everyone talks about them, but there is good reason for that. They are amazing.

So there in a nutshell is my journey through Ireland. I always feel so blessed to have traveled to so many places, and I'm already looking forward to my next trip. Who knows where we'll end up the next time we get bored!

Thankful

Well, shockingly I missed the boat on the 28 Days of Thanksgiving this year...again. But never fear, I've prepared my list of days 1-20 just for you! As I reflected on my year, I feel that I've had countless blessings as well as my share of hardships. Because this has been such an eventful year, I've looked at the people in my life and realized that I am surrounded by literally the best people on the planet. Therefore, my list is of things to be thankful for this year is a list of 20 people who make my life better (in no particular order mind you).  I <3 you all and Happy early Thanksgiving!

1. My mom- for being my best friend, always listening, and inspiring me to be a better person. Also for teaching me that it's okay to eat spaghetti for breakfast. I would not be who I am without you.
2. My dad- for loving me unconditionally, pushing me to be my best, trying to listen to me, and teaching me everything I know about baseball.
3. My sister- for letting me repeatedly cry on her shoulder, accepting me as the loud ass little sister I am, sharing her wisdom, and singing the entire Little Mermaid soundtrack with me.
4. My PoPo- for knowing when I need a hug, laughing and calling me crazy girl in Chinese, and making me shitake mushrooms every time I come home.
5. My Gramps- for teaching me to fish, letting me sit in his lap, singing me Croatian songs, and giving me a lifetime of memories. I miss him every single day.
6. My Gung Gung- for teaching my family to love, strive for the stars, accept nothing less than perfection, and remember that all sports are fixed. Thanksgiving will not be the same without you and your video camera.
7. My Nonie- for her faith in our family, teaching me that Catholics can be Democrats, sewing a face on Orange Bear, and pie.
8. Amanda- for appreciating my sarcastic humor, being my voice of reason, explaining current events to me, deciphering text messages with me, and showing daily that someone cares about me. Oh, and for making Lucas.
9. Abby- for her sage wisdom, kind words, inspiring me to run, and saving me from the dull abyss that is a staff meeting.
10. Allison-for always listening, laughing at my inappropriate comments, sending the best one line texts ever, talking me through those difficult times, and quoting Titanic from start to finish.
11. Di- for always supporting and encouraging me, inviting me be your zoo buddy, keeping me laughing (g word), and making raptor hands.
12. Laura- for being my traveling, shopping, and baking buddy and sharing my love of glitter and accessories.
13. Pam- for inspiring me to be a better person, teaching me to be a better teacher, listening to my verbal processing, and dancing with me down the hallway to the music of Motown. You are my sanity Every. Single. Day.
14. Brenda- for gym time counseling sessions, thoughtful advice, always treating me like my opinion matters, and laughing at my idiocy.
15. Chelsea- for giving me confidence, sending me messages that literally make me laugh out loud, unconditional love, and making me feel less guilty about the number of times I say "fuck" in a day.
16. Jana-for singing at the top of her lungs, helping me see the sunny side of life, her ability to fill a room with laughter, and letting me color in her coloring book.
17. Erin- for helping me survive college, supporting my crazy antics (ie: darb, canned soup toss, jeep hijacking, and hula hooping with RT), teaching me about Hanukkah, and being able to pick up our friendship over many years and miles.
18. Matty- for being my single and fabulous friend this summer, for checking in on me when I'm blue, and for using the term "aggressive" as I would. #littlebrother
19. Nikl- for sharing his love of Harry Potter with me, always being kind, offering me a helping hand whenever I may need it, and for adjusting my back all with a big smile on his face.
20. Dougie- for using Friends references, laughing with me, permitting me to use # phrases in high volume, and being a genuine friend. And for proposing to Di :)

And Now a Word From the Tall Girls...

A few days ago I posted a blog all about the joys of being short. I asked my friend to write a follow up to present the other side of the height spectrum since we often commiserate with one another when discussing our vertical challenges. Oh, and because I <3 her pretty face. So without further ado, here is her amazingly well written response.

Tall People Problems

After reading my good friend’s “Short People Problems” blog post, and seeing some of her 5’3” perspective, I will admit I have a new understanding of her frustrations of being short.  But, I think it’s only fair that I share the frustrations from the tall end of the spectrum.  

All my life I’ve been “above average” height for a girl.  I grew until I was in my early twenties, and finally stopped once I reached 5’10”... a tall 5’10” but I can’t quite claim 5’11”.  

When I was younger I was constantly being asked if I played basketball.  No? Oh, then volleyball. No??  Well, at least you swim backstroke… No? But you’re so tall!  …Yeah, that doesn’t automatically mean I’m good at certain sports.  Why does being tall have so many preconceived notions surrounding it?

Sometimes it feels strange because I can see over most of my girlfriends’ heads. It’s something I’m used to, but every now and then when spending time with my girls, I’ll have this realization that I’m towering over them and it trips me out!  Can we just sit down somewhere?

Lucky for me, my boyfriend is 6’3” (and devastatingly handsome), and I never feel awkward about my height around him.  But, I know plenty of other women who have felt self-conscious because their partner is shorter. The truth is, we live in a society where it’s strange for a woman to be with a man who is shorter than she is.  But when a woman is shorter than her partner, she’s seen as more feminine; it’s normal and more acceptable.  My cousin once dated a guy who was several inches shorter and after they broke up someone told her to “please never date a short guy again, it was weird.”  What??  Tell her not to date someone who treats her poorly, height shouldn’t dictate whether or not you feel comfortable holding hands in public.  Props to Rhea Pearlman and Danny DeVito for not letting height deter their relationship!

Really, the biggest problem with being tall is finding clothes.  Thank the good lord for skinny jeans because in them I can get away with a 34” inseam, but even those are hard to find.  Oh, and that adorable jacket in the store window?  Nope, the sleeves land roughly two inches above my wrist. Just about everything long sleeved in my closet ends up getting pushed or rolled up, so it’s all ¾ sleeves, and you’d be surprised how many skirts should be marked as ‘mini’.  Short people have to hem their pants, but at least you can hem!  There’s only so much fabric and then it’s over!  We tall people have nothing to work with!

Yes, there are frustrations that come with being tall and when I was younger, I hated it.  But to be completely honest… aside from still getting mad when the clothes at the mall aren’t made for my long limbs... I’m actually pretty happy with my height.  It’s something I can’t change, so I’ve come to embrace it.  I hope all tall and short people can learn to feel comfortable in their own skin, we are how we are, so find a way to love it… and to the average height people: shut up, nobody asked you. just kidding!  But if anyone needs something off the top shelf, I’ll just be at the nearest basketball court doing slam dunks...

Short People Problems

Have you ever heard the song "Short People" by Randy Newman? You should probably Google it, that or just believe me when I say it's one of the most offensive songs of our time. You see, I'm a short person. I tower at just about 5'3" and sometimes I get frustrated with the disadvantages of being short. Among the things that short people have to deal with are:

1. Tall people. Let me tell you a little story about how my friend is 5'10" and I feel like a gnome every time I stand next to her. A conversation can only commence once we are both sitting and literally on the same level. I have to consciously make sure I'm wearing my big girl heels when I see her so as to avoid feeling like the smallest person on the planet. It only gets worse when her boyfriend comes into the picture...then I'm lost in the land of giants. *sigh* Can't I just be like them?

2. Other people's laundry. Wiggity what? That's right, I have a laundry room in my building where the dryer is on top. It just so happens that I am so short that I cannot see into said dryer. So on numerous occasions I will be folding my laundry and finding other people's nasty clothes mixed in with mine. You cannot tell me this happens to tall people.

3. Climbing on kitchen counters. I am literally a Spider-Woman acrobat in my kitchen. I can cling to counter tops, jump from side to side, and launch to the tippy top shelf if need be. We short people must adapt to cabinets made by tall meanies.

4. Pants that will never fit. You know something is wrong when the capri pants hit you perfectly at the ankle. Just once I'd like to buy a pair of pants that don't require hemming. A girl can dream I guess.

5. A difficult BMI to maintain. Laugh it up tall people, but because I'm short, the doctor tells me I have to also weigh less than you. Can I help that the Big Man made me in a slightly smaller package? Why must I now also work out harder?

Now don't get me wrong, there are advantages to being short too. For example, I can always wear tall shoes and  use my height to get me out of riding a terrifying roller coaster. I also know that being tall isn't that great because once I tried it out by standing on a chair. I asked my tall friend if it was the view he was used to having and he merely laughed. I'll tell you what, I've been to the top, and I didn't see the Promised Land. I saw lots of dust and a serious drop down. Heights are the worst.

So while there are many disadvantages to being short, and my feet may never reach the ground while sitting on a barstool, I suppose that I will accept my miniature frame as it is. Someone else is going to have to start doing my laundry though.

Notice Me!

I was recently walking around downtown with my friend. Suddenly, he looked at me, and we had the following conversation:

Friend: So do you just walk around looking at other women's boobs all the time?
Me: Um, no. Why, do you?
Friend: Yes, they are everywhere!
Me: I only notice if they are in my face. Women need to be careful with their cleavage, nothing more than 1/2 an inch is really necessary.
Friend: Yeah, I can see that. But I like it, women should show it all the time.
Me: That's aggressive.

I took two things away from this conversation. 1. I love my friend for these random conversations and 2. Women think that men notice a whole lot of things that they in fact do not. I find this highly interesting because women spend a great amount of time worrying about many things that they believe men notice ie: what we wear, what kind of a hair day we are having, and the color of our nail polish. However there are times when I suddenly realize that men and women are completely on different pages with this. Once a guy looked at me and asked, "So do you have a different necklace for like EVERY outfit?" My response was something along the lines of, "Uh yeah, that's kind of the point." He looked shocked, when in my mind, I was wondering how it took him so long to notice my accessorizing skills.

I thought I'd do a little research to test my hypothesis of men and women noticing different things about one another. After collecting data from a variety of specimens/friends I've learned the following.

Men pay attention to:

• Body parts

Women pay attention to:

• Smile
• Eyes
• Bulging biceps
• Clothing- including, but not limited to: color, brand, size, fit, and coordination
• Overall hygiene
• Laugh
• Interaction with others
• What men are actually saying, (and yes, we will remember every word, sorry boys)

From this data, I feel confident in saying that a. women get a whole lot more out of 5 minutes than men, and b. men are much simpler than women believe them to be. In my mind, women should really be more aware of this because it would save them a  lot of needless worry.

I once read that the number one thing that people notice about one another is if they look like they are happy or not. This thought has really stuck with me especially when I can feel myself scowling after a grueling day at work or laying on the floor at the gym "stretching" aka trying to recuperate from near death. I think if women can find a way to show their happiness they will find much more success with the opposite sex than they would with  a 1/2 inch of cleavage. Though let's be real ladies, accessories kind of do make you happier right? So glam it up and smile, because all eyes are on you Little Miss Fabulous!

Body Movin'

I think my mom might be the cutest patootest person in the whole world. You see, she's recently started a new work out routine and she calls to give me the run down of all of the insane things her new gym drill sergeant makes her do. My favorite thus far was when she told me her trainer told her to reach farther as she did the row machine. She then told me she'd really like to do this, but her belly gets in the way. Haha, like I said, my mom is fantastic.

At any rate, the madre says that these workouts often make her think of me, because I am the daughter that is the gym rat. Some people can't stand the place, but I find the routine and convenience unbeatable. The thing about the gym though, is that it is a really awesomely weird place. In fact, I can't believe it's taken me this long to write about it. So below are a few gems from my experiences at the gym.

1. Gyms are an untapped resource for people watching. Some people think gyms are boring and they can't stand the thought of working out on a machine for 45 minutes. Clearly, they have never looked up as they rode that elliptical into the ground. Watching people at the gym is the best part of my day. In particular, I love watching the beefcakes walk into the men's locker room as they slyly check themselves out in the mirror. "We can all see you!" I want to shout. "Nice flame/tribal/barbed wire tattoo, bro!" But I don't because I'm afraid they'll stop doing it and then who will I chuckle at?

2. Gyms are home to my best friend/worst enemy: the treadmill. I say this because anyone that has ever had a conversation about exercising with me probably knows that I loathe running. To me it is the hardest thing on the planet. I attribute this to my little Asian lungs and Buddha-esque legs. My two best friends however, love to run. So this summer they inspired me to fire up the treadmill and go for a run. I've now gotten to the point where I don't completely want to die, and occasionally even feel like this:

 But usually when I start feeling that way, I look in the mirror and realize that I'm moving at a turtle's pace and it's more like this:

Let's just say it's a work in progress.

3. Gyms are eclectic.  When you are working out at a gym, you are surrounded by a wide array of people. You've got the meat heads that look like cartoons because they can't pull their arms down to their sides due to their awkwardly bulging muscles. You've also got the adorable senior citizens who show up 30 minutes early for their Silver Sneakers class and hold onto the handles of the treadmill. You've got the people who are just there to say they went to the gym, which is obvious due to the fact that they are exercising in full makeup and no sports bra. Finally, you've got the people like me, who are there to get a good workout in and check out the hot trainers.

4. Gyms are motivating. I just attended a weight lifting class last week where the teacher was a mix of Molly Weasley and Hells Angels complete with fanny pack and sweatband. She walked around doing bicep curls while screaming at us, "Push harder!", "No cheating!", "Watch your body CHANGE!" I was sweating boatloads by the end when I realized that this crazy lady had really motivated me to try harder. Between trainers like that and the 80+ year old man training for the marathon, I'd say it's time for me to put it into high gear.

 

5. Gyms make me feel mighty. I think the reason I keep going back to the gym is I feel like a rock star after I'm done. I know I'm never going to be the skinniest little thing in the world, but I've learned that I can do things that I never thought I could. There are few things more rewarding than being able to say that I crushed that last spin class or that I just completed 800+ reps in Body Pump. I find myself giving serious props to those people I see at the gym that are obviously struggling with their weight. I've learned to celebrate the small wins with my body because weight is a hard thing to deal with, and getting off your ass is harder still. But even if you're only there for a half hour, you're still mightier than when you walked in, and that is pretty fabulous.

Let's Talk About Ex Baby

According to some, I am now the guru of breakups. I don't know how I got this title, nor do I feel that I am an expert by any means. Whatever it is, apparently people feel the need to talk to me when they are either thinking about breaking up with their someone, or they have just done so. And on this note, I think there are a few key things to keep in mind when it comes to your ex.

The number one thing I don't understand is how people always want to see their ex. They want to "touch base" or "find closure." In my experience seeing your ex will lead to either walking down memory lane and crying or remembering all of the reasons why you broke up in the first place and cursing. Just the thought of my former boyfriends makes me cringe and wonder how I let myself make such terrible decisions. This is why I choose to avoid them altogether. I recently saw my ex to pick up the last of my belongings that he had been kidnapping for the past seven months and it was super Miley Cyrus- aka awkward and unnecessary. Seriously, cut them off and move on.

The trouble I've found is that staying away can be hard when you have the same friends. It's almost like you have to draw up a contract with your ex saying who has custody of the friends on what days. When it comes to your mutual friends the key is to NOT put them in the middle. Put on your big girl pants and save the drama for your next diary entry. If you two should cross paths I recommend a. dressing like a fox and b. taking the high road by saying hi first. Along the same lines of having mutual friends, please do not try to befriend your ex. This will never work because chances are, you've let your ex Lewis and Clark your body. Do you let your other friends do that? I hope not. Therefore, exes do not equal friends.

The last thing I think should be said about your ex is that being lonely and single is not a good enough reason to get back together. Just because something is familiar and comfortable doesn't make it right, it makes you afraid. All of those issues that put you on the single bus will be right there waiting for you when you decide to give it another try ie: "We can get back together if you change this, this, this, this, and this. Okay?" Um no, not okay. It also puts all of your friends who have coached you through the break up in a really sticky situation. You know how uncomfortable you felt when you heard Rhianna and Chris Brown might be getting back together? Yeah, we kind of feel like that.

There in a nutshell are the breakup guru's words of sage wisdom. And if you forget everything I've said, just remember that unless your ex is Mr. Big, it's time to move onward and upward.

Smile and Be Happy!

This week was my first week back to school with my 30 new cherubs. I find this time of year to be particularly daunting, and know that you can easily become an angry elf. To prevent this I've decided to come up with a list (because lists are my favorite) of the top 10 things that make me unfailingly happy. Hopefully something on here will be enough to lift your spirits too!

10. Happiness is nature. I'm like a crazy person when I go hiking and camping. Ask any of my friends, I'll talk about how I love flowers, mountains, rivers, and fresh air. I take 20 pictures of the same landscape because it's so amazing. I twirl and sing about how the hills are filled with the sound of music and I wish on every shooting star. I may move at a grandma's pace up the mountain, but I love it.

9. Happiness is acapella. If you have not seen the movie "Pitch Perfect" you need to stop reading this and get on Netflix right this instant. In a nutshell: I do mermaid dancing, that's not a good enough reason to use the word penetrate, it fuels my hate fire, I do close up magic, you have juice pouches and Rocky, and you are awesome...ly horrible, I hate you.

8. Happiness is baseball pants. Yes. Thank you Lord for baseball pants.

7. Happiness is everyone's favorite news correspondent. I don't frequently watch SNL, but when I do, I always wait for Weekend Update. My favorites are when Stefon comes on to talk about New York's hottest clubs. Watch it, and fall in love with it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...

6. Happiness is my Popo blanket. My Popo is my grandma, she alone makes me happy. But then one day when I was just a wee one, she made me a blanket. My Popo blanket is soft, warm, and comforting. I will crank my AC just so I can lay under my Popo blanket. I don't even care how ridiculous I look all snuggled up in 98 degree heat, that blanket is heaven.

5. Happiness is Hugh Grant. I know he makes bad life choices, but he warms my heart in "Love Actually" which is one of my all-time favorite movies. Here is one of my favorite scenes from the movie, I can't help but smile every time I watch it!

4. Happiness is music. Every morning on my drive to work, you will hear the Prius coming before you see it. This is because I like to crank my music and sing at the top of my lungs for the entire 25 minutes. This usually leads to the awesome head bob and finger drums on the steering wheel.  To all of my fellow commuters that watch this go down at stoplights: You are welcome.

3. Happiness is Christmas. Today I had my iPod on shuffle and every third song was a Christmas carol. Did I skip them? No, I did not. Why? Because Christmas is my favorite time of year. I like to deck the halls and make my apartment look like a holiday bomb went off. I enjoy intricately wrapping each gift that I give with coordinating ribbon and tags. And I love watching the snow fall as the lights on my tree twinkle whilst drinking hot chocolate. Sadness is December 26th.

2. Happiness is Disneyland. I can't even count how many times I've been, but each time has been purely magical. Below is a picture of the headboard in my hotel room the last time I went. Why did I take a picture of this you say? Well, when your headboard lights up and sings "When You Wish Upon a Star" to you, you take a picture.

1. Happiness is love. Okay, so I'm picking another scene from "Love Actually," (I told you it was my favorite, right?). I'm just going to say that any man that does this would have my heart in a second. It makes me overflow with happiness!

Call Me Maybe

Alerts on my phone give me heart palpitations. So do people that tell me that they are, "Bad at using their phones." Yeah, welcome to 2013. Thanks to technology I can have 10 conversations at one time which usually turns into texting gossip to the wrong person (which of course I never do). I literally start sweating when I see I have a voicemail, because no one leaves voicemails these days unless it's serious like, "You have a hair appointment next Tuesday." Social media brought a whole new boatload of confusion to communication as in, I will totally be LinkedIn to you, but no way would I friend you on Facebook. But if you're my friend on Facebook, I only want you to have my gmail account, and not my hotmail account. Yikes, when did talking to people get so hard!

Your phone is great, but it also makes things confusing. I feel like you used to like a guy, talk to them, and they would call you. Now it's like you only get a call when it's serious. Texting is super convenient, but also maybe a little unreal, ie: I can sit and think about how to respond rather than just giving you my foot in mouth reaction. I can also say things that I would never say to your face. I might even play the little game where I wait to text you back so as to appear more aloof. I also find that when I text someone I get ticked that they haven't texted me back (this is especially true when I'm texting a friend that I know has their phone literally as an extra appendage. Don't screen me honey). How are you supposed to know if the 4g network has failed, or they are out on their bowling team, or they are asleep, or maybe they just aren't attached to their phone! You can check your Facebook to see if they have messaged you there, or maybe you missed an email so you should probably check that too. You can even keep track of what time the communication was sent and if the reader has in fact read it or not. This is enough to make a girl crazy! All of the sudden you have turned into this totally insane person who is afraid to even look at their phone or turn on their computer because all that will be there is a message from mom and your phone will be thrown across the room. While ranting about this to a friend, she reminded me of this scene from He's Just Not That Into You:

 

She totally has my sympathy. 

My friend recently told me that he called a girl to say he couldn't meet up and she thanked him for actually calling her. It makes me sad that this is something we have to be thankful for now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when in doubt, you should probably just call- it's easier than texting a paragraph and I like to dance to my ringtone. That or you should only text in hashtagged phrases, because that's just fun. #lifeunplugged #imfabulous

The Far East

So about two weeks ago, I got on this:

And I went here (Thanks for the map www.enchantedlearning.com):

When people ask me how my trip was, I have a one word response: eye-opening. I was pretty psyched to go on this trip as my foreign travels thus far have been limited to North America and Europe, and I will tell you right now that China is a whole different animal. Here are some things you should know about my trip:
1. 40% of the pictures I took were of little Chinese kids. I love them. Probably because I was half of one.

 

2. Another 40% of the pictures I took were of little Chinese senior citizens. I love them too. They make me think of my Po Po and Gung Gung.

3. All foreign places smell, and China has a distinct smell. I'm pretty sure it comes from the squatting toilets...or the fact that I saw multiple children being held over trash cans to pee.

4. I witnessed this while eating at Pizza Hut in the Beijing Airport: http://www.news.com.au/world-news/mystery-explosion-at-beijing-airport/story-fndir2ev-1226682515216.
The crazy part was no one seemed panicked, well except for the American tourists.

5. Climbing the Great Wall was surprisingly hard. I figured after climbing my first 14er merely days before this would be nothing. Well, it was steep, the steps were uneven, and you're climbing with hundreds of other people. It was pretty awesome. I should've gone all the way to the top, but then I stepped in pee and lost my willpower.

6. The government is everywhere. I'm afraid to even write this because they are probably checking my movements. But seriously, I can't believe what a crazy military presence there was.

7. Everyone knows that China has a huge population, but what you might not be able to picture is that it's like Disneyland multiplied by 1,000. No one seems to mind if you are in line or if you bump into them either. I can't decide if it is rude that everyone is constantly pushing you over, or that it is just the culture in a dog eat dog world. Let's just say I gave up saying excuse me after a while and started using my purse as a battering ram.

 8. Chinese people are pretty intrigued by Americans. Everywhere we went people wanted to take their picture with us, because for some, we were the first white people they had ever seen. My dad ate this up.

 

9. Most people know that China has an overpopulation issue and we've also heard about the one child policy. While driving down the street, probably 8 out of 10 people that you see are male. According to our guide, you must have the 4 c's to get a wife in China: car, condo, cash, and cuteness. And we thought the dating pool here was tough! You should also know that it's wicked hot in China, so the men just lift their shirts off to cool off their bellies. Hello ladies.

 10. I am more Chinese than I thought I was. That, or people are really white. People seemed to be really concerned about what they were eating. "Is this chicken or is it pork?" Um, does it matter? Clearly these people have never sat through a Chinese banquet before. The food was okay, but not my Po Po's. I did manage to see some skewered fried scorpions that were still wiggling, however I stuck to eating the sticky rice instead.

11. My great enlightenment came from a discussion with our guide about the pollution in China. You hear about it on the news, but it's even worse than they describe. The smog mixed with the pollution literally makes you feel like you can't breath. Our guide told us that countries from across the globe send their work to China because they make high quality products for cheap prices. What other countries don't understand is that by doing this, China is now taking on all of the pollution from those countries. To top it off, they don't have a government that is prepared to deal with such a huge problem, nor do they really care. This was such a different perspective for me because here in America we always hear about how China takes all of our jobs, but in reality, we are creating even more problems for them! Can you tell my mind was a little blown?

All in all I had a great trip, but I'm also so very thankful that my grandparents immigrated to America. In my mind, one of the best reasons to travel is because it helps remind you that you are just one teeny tiny person in one ginormous world. China definitely reminded me of just that.

Deep Thoughts

Am I the only person that finds packing for a trip to be the most daunting task in the world? Perhaps it's just that my summer brain gets far too bogged down by a task that requires actual planning. Instead of packing for said trip, I find that my mind is full of a lot of random thoughts. No doubt my undiagnosed ADHD is kicking in...At any rate, sometimes I feel like I have things to say but nowhere to say them. Luckily I have this neat little blog. So without any rhyme or reason, here are a few of my random summer musings, and then I swear I'm totally going to finish packing :)

• I had a discussion with a friend the other day about how weird it would've been to be the first person to discover watermelon. I imagine someone foraging in a forest and discovering this crazy large green thing. They attempt to pick it up only to drop it because of its weight. The drop cracks it open and holy crow! It's red, sweet, and amazing inside! I wish I had been that person.
• I think it's really rude when people wave at you when they're doing really dumb things. "Hey, I know I'm cutting you off or almost running you over, but I'm waving so it's cool!" That's not cool, that's dick.
• I'm seriously considering starting a new collection bin out in my alley. I'm going to label it "Hobo" so that people will stop digging through the trash. They'll be easily able to access what they need and move along quickly. Everybody wins.
• Today is laundry day so I have shirts hanging up in every doorway of my house. I just realized that each time I enter a room I've been doing the limbo under the shirts. This has just become very entertaining to me.
• I think that biscuit dough in one of those cans that you peel and they explode is quite possibly one of the scariest things ever, and probably the closest I will ever get to holding a grenade.
• I'm a teacher, therefore I have summers off. When I'm going to the gym, or running errands during the day there are an amazing amount of people out and about. Don't these people have jobs? Not all of you can be teachers! And then it hits me...some people are actually allowed to like leave work for lunch! *Gasp* Or maybe even work from home! *Double Gasp!* Let me just say that people should never take those things for granted.

Digital Dating

"Where do I meet a guy?" This is the most common phrase that I've noticed  among my single girlfriends. We all have the same complaint- if you don't meet someone while you are in college, dating prospects really diminish as your age increases. You could walk up to strangers at the grocery store, but then again there are only so many things you can say about peaches before things turn awkward.

 The  lack of eligible bachelors usually leads to a conversation about online dating. People typically have a lot of opinions about this new form of digital dating, but I've found myself on the fence about it. Therefore, I decided to poll my friends to see if the world of online dating was worth dipping a toe into.

PROS

• Apparently online dating is the new way to date. I got a lot of techie people telling me that in a few years this will be the only way that people will meet. I should also mention that only my guy friends had this response.
• According to recent findings, the divorce rate of people who meet online is only 25%. This is because people have already laid out their non-negotiables as far as what shit they are not willing to put up with. Makes sense right?
• You can pick the person that you attracted to, have the same interests as, and are looking for the same things.
• People have made it work. Every time I asked someone what they thought about online dating, the first response was usually, "Oh, you know so and so, they totally met online and now they are getting married!"

CONS

• My number one feeling about online dating: Stranger Danger. 
• People are weird, creepy, and/or liars. Just watch Catfish for like 10 minutes and you'll see what I mean.
• Instead of just talking to someone you are attracted to, you order them off of a menu. "Hmm, I think I'll take tall, athletic, brain surgeon who enjoys barbecues and ping pong." You could blow someone off just because they wrote something boneheaded on their profile, isn't that like judging a book by its cover?
• People online might not have the same intentions that you do. I have a friend that went on a date with a guy after she broke up with her boyfriend for the sole purpose of trying to get through a new date without crying. She's not looking for love. Nor is the guy whose profile picture is taken in his bathroom mirror with his shirt lifted up to display his 42 pack.

So, what is the general consensus? I think that online dating is nothing more than a personal preference. We are all looking for love, and more often than not in the wrong places. I say follow your bliss and find a good wingman, the rest will all fall into place.

Lady Baggage

Typically I'm not a fan of people who complain about the weather, but I have one thing to say about this here Colorado summer and that is, it's flinging flanging HOT! The good thing however, is that I have numerous trips planned this summer to beat the heat in my tiny oven of an apartment.

Upon lugging my suitcase back home from my last journey, I couldn't quite understand why my bag was so dang heavy. While unpacking, I discovered that my bag didn't have anything extraordinary in it, but rather the usual crap that a lady needs in order to survive. Now I know I'm going to catch some grief for this because my granola friends will say, "You're so beautiful you don't need make up or jewelry!" And you know what, they are right. But does the average person look enhanced with said accoutrements? I think yes. What women travels without:

1. A hefty Ziploc bag of products: One day I decided to see just how many products I used on my body. The answer: 24. That's right, 2 dozens things! Obviously I have a bit of a product addiction, but to those who say you don't need it, I say, do you really want to be around me when my hair looks like Edward Scissorhands, my face looks like a 15 year old boy, and I smell like a locker room? Nobody should have to see/smell that.
2. A wide variety of bras: Don't blush, bras are a necessity of womankind, no matter what shape or size. Who knows when you'll need a strapless, t-shirt, racerback, black, nude, one strap contraption to make you look slim, appropriate, and appealing to the man stew of D.C.? I overheard a group of ladies at the airport having this same conversation, and I was like, "Totally with you sister."
3. A large quantity of chargers: Be it phone, tablet, Kindle, camera, laptop or iPod you'll need them all on your prolonged stay. You'd think by now we'd have a universal charger to make it easy on travelers, but then again, why make it convenient?
4. Multiple pairs of shoes: As most of you that know me are aware of, I'm a bit of a shoe fiend. So when I say my luggage had 9 pairs of shoes in it you are not surprised. Sure it's a bit of an overkill, but know that I bought three pairs on the actual trip (one should not ignore excellent sales). Shoes are there for all of your walking, beaching, dressing up times so it really pays to be prepared.
5. Plane entertainment: There are few things worse than being on a long flight without something to do. I had accidentally packed my book in my suitcase on my way to D.C. and found myself watching a movie on someone's laptop between the crack of the two airplane seats in front of me. Kind of creepy and also less meaningful without sound.

So the next time you are packing for a trip, remember to keep the luggage light and only take the essentials listed above. You never know what you'll encounter, but at least hopefully the hot weather will be enjoyed on a beach rather than your couch. Bon voyage!

From the Mouths of Babes

Ah, summer break. How I have been waiting anxiously for you to get here! All in all, it was a pretty fabulous year in my classroom. I know some people don't really understand what it is that I do as a teacher, but I hope everyone knows just how amazingly humorous kids can be.  Sometimes from the mouths of babes comes the greatest things.  I thought I would take a minute to count down my top 10 favorite quotes from this year. Enjoy!

10. On a field trip to the park, student looks at me and says, "Ms. V, nature is so sooving don't you think? You know, like calm." Then he whips out his TMNT toy.

9. A student wore a presidential candidate's shirt to school during election season. Another student walked up to them and said, "Just so you know, ________ is a liar." I bet you can't guess which candidate :)

8. Student: "You know Ms. V, you really are the best teacher in the school." Me: "Why do you say that?" Student: "Well because your name has a V in it and you told all the other teachers to make a music video."

7. Me: "Do you think you could help this student out? They are really going to need your support and I know you can do it because you are so kind." Student: "Well, I guess they are pretty obedient so I can get them to do what I want."

6. Student: "Ms. V., why do you like Tulowitzki so much?" Other student: "Hello! Have you seen him!?" Student: "So you're saying he is good looking?" Me and other student: "Yes."

5. While asking students to estimate the answer of a multiplication problem, I asked a student how they got their estimate. Student: "Well I know my estimate is correct because, well I don't know about these people,(points to his classmates) but I actually know how to multiply."

4. Student: "Ms. V., my parents think you are really weird." Me: "What? Why?" Student: "Well I told them about how you're always singing to us and dancing around the classroom." Me: "Maybe you shouldn't tell your parents everything that we do in class..."

3. I gave a student the "I'm disappointed" talk because he had forgotten his homework yet again. He wrote me the following in a letter: "I have never been so sorry in my life. I could just cry right now. I'll try so much harder next time, I'm gonna be on a roll. I'm so super sorry, I would go across across the world for my work."

2. Student: "Ms. V, would you like a coupon for a free donut?" Me: "No thanks, I'm good. Why?" Student: "Well, you're always talking about food, so I thought you'd like one." Okay, this one still makes me laugh.

1. When we study the history of Colorado, we study the mountain men. This is always a very entertaining unit as you talk about the importance of the beaver. My students took it to a whole new level this year when a group of boys couldn't stop talking about how much they loved beaver. It culminated with them chanting, "Beaver! Beaver! Beaver!" while throwing their fists in the air. If they only knew...

The Centenial State

A while back I wrote an ode to my home state of Utah. As my 10 year high school reunion grows closer, it seems crazy to think that I've now been a Colorado resident for almost ten years. Life is definitely different here in the Rocky Mountains, so I thought I would assemble some thoughts for all you non-natives to help you better understand life "elevated."

1. The first thing you need to know about living in Colorado is that people that are from here are REALLY proud of it. You'll be able to identify them by their "Native" bumper stickers and funny look that they give you when you tell them you're not from here. If you mention that you were thinking of moving somewhere else, the typical response is, "Why? Colorado is amazing! Who would ever want to leave?" This state pride was a bit weird to me because we don't have that in Utah...I then realized that is because no one from Utah ever leaves. Whatever you do, don't buy one of these or I will make fun of you--->

2. Another thing you should know about Colorado is that there is a formal dress code. First, all residents are required to purchase a variety of North Face outerwear, preferably black, but other colors are also allowed. Second, you must own at least one pair of outdoorsy and or eco-friendly footwear including but not limited to Keens, Chacos, Toms, Columbia, or Merrell. Flannel and/or plaid shirts are acceptable but not required. I utilized this wardrobe when I climbed Mt. Ranier last summer.
 <---Okay, so I was actually climbing a snow pile in the parking lot, but I feel I should receive credit for the effort and a bonus for incorporating a Coach bag into the outfit.

3. Colorado residents really, really like their Subarus. They also like to mow other cars over on the freeway when it is snowing. "Learn how to drive in the snow!" they shout. "Stop driving like a tool!" I reply.

4.On one of my first Sundays living in Colorado I took a walk around the neighborhood. It was silent. "Where is everyone?" I thought to myself. Turns out the Sunday has a different name in Colorado, it is Bronco Day. On Bronco Day, you stay inside and yell at the Donkeys until they win. You even get 15% off of your groceries if you wear your Broncos gear to the store on game day!

5. The last thing you should know about living in Colorado is that the weather is seriously nuts. It's something about the change in elevation coming off of the Rockies and into the plains, (or at least that's what they tell you when you're having yet another turbulent landing at DIA). At any rate, Coloradans love to talk about weather. When it snows in May (aka last week) you can start tallying how many people say, "Welcome to Colorado" or "It's springtime in the Rockies!" People really need to stop saying that because it makes me want to say mean things.

Well, I think that about sums this great state. For more information on life in Colorado, please ask any Midwesterner as they have all seemed to move here. Go Broncos.

Learning to Grieve Again

Recent experiences in my life have led me to think about grief. Over the past year I have grieved the loss of a relationship, a friend's loss, and the loss of my grandfather. What I don’t think any of us can understand is why grief is so hard to deal with. It can literally make you feel a sadness that is so deep inside of you that you feel like it may drown you (similar to how this scene of Up gets me EVERY time).  Equally hard to understand is how long it will take you to heal, while also realizing that you may never be the same. I often reference “those stage things” and so I thought I’d do a bit more research into them. 

You may remember from your Psych 101 class that there are supposedly 5 stages of grief. They are as follows:

Denial: For me this is always the first stage. When someone tells me something horrible, I’m automatically thinking they’re lying or telling a joke... then again, who lies about that kind of stuff!? If you ask me, this comes from shock, a fight or flight type of ordeal. Even though I knew my grandpa was sick, I still couldn’t register that he was really gone.

Anger: This is a pretty easy stage to get stuck in. Whenever something happens that we can’t explain it typically turns into anger. Why did you have to leave me? Why is this so bleepity hard? Why do people keep consoling me with asinine comments?Why did this have to happen to me? You can literally circle around these questions over and over again until you're dizzy with frustration and anger.

Bargaining: This stage is a little tricky for me. As an Asian, I am naturally good at bargaining ie: Can I get this cheaper? However this type of bargaining is a bit more of the "What If?" nature. What if I had done _______? I promise next time I'll make sure to ________.  You know you're done with this stage only when you are able to understand that there is nothing that you could've done to prevent this loss, and that no amount of pleading can change the past.

Depression: I'm a pretty big sucker for this stage as well since I'm naturally someone who enjoys rehearsing memories in mind. The only issue is that it is these memories that often trigger an onset of tears, sadness, and just plain missing whatever you've lost. I've earned myself the nickname of "The Wet Blanket" in my family because all it takes is a picture of my beloved dog Snoopy or the card from my PoPo and Gung Gung on my fridge to set the tears in motion. In my defense, sometimes it is okay to just be sad. Oh, and your aunt shouldn't tell you not to cry, some of us didn't inherit the Chinese nerves of steel (I can say that because I know she doesn't read my blog) :)

Acceptance: Now in my very humble opinion, this is the very hardest stage to reach because your head must wrap around all of the ideas in your heart to help you understand that loss will eventually touch your life. This is not simply "getting over" something or "moving on" but letting the loss become a part of you as a positive light. Ugh, I know, easier said than done.

So there is your review of the grieving process. There is no order and no time limit, but in my mind the best cure is family, friends, and of course cookies. Don't lose hope, and remember that all you need is love! <3