Holiday Mythology

Dreams were shattered today in my classroom. I thought I was asking about how everybody's Easter was, but what ended up happening was a boy raising his hand and declaring to the class that this year he learned the Easter bunny was in fact his mother. Of course my face instantly turned bright red and I had to fight the urge to yell, "Are you freaking kidding me, keep that to yourself!" as I looked around the class and saw some very stunned faces. This kid thinks he's made some great discovery, while others are going to go home crying...great.

I actually believed in things like the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, and Santa until about the age of 12. I know, I'm special. But on the day at the store when my mom looked at me and said, "Don't be surprised if you find this in your stocking," I was utterly surprised and very upset. I guess I'd just figured I'd find out if Santa was real when I had my own kids. You mean to tell me that every year that I've sprinted downstairs being careful not to touch any of my gifts, but crane my neck carefully to see what Santa had left me, it was all a farce? That Santa can't make the Ultimate Nsync Book or a Discman in his factory? Who the hell ate all those cookies? I guess I should've known when all my friends kept getting $20 from the Tooth Fairy, I was like, are your teeth made of gold or is the TF just cheap at my house? (Which by the way mom, you are not cheap, other parents are stupid. 20 bones for something that falls out of your face? Pull-eeze.)

Needless to say, I was pretty brokenhearted when I learned that all of these holiday friends were really just myths. I felt like I had been lied to, and also that my parents had been doing a lot of work behind the scenes to keep up the jig. I hope that when I have kids they'll keep believing as long as possible, or at least until some lame kid blows it for them at school.