Sexy and I Know It

Well, it’s an ordinary Monday and I decided to check my email. After completing this task I logged out and was brought to a screen that said “Now you can browse the internet in a way that is stylish and sexy,” paraphrasing for copyright reasons of course. Upon reading this I immediately took up my thinking face, (you know, one eyebrow up, one down). What on earth makes checking my email or surfing the web “sexy” or “stylish”? I suppose some people think what they are doing online makes them feel sexy, but I call it pervy.

This so called sexy internet browsing got me to thinking about just how overused the term “sexy” is. We all know that sex sells, but must we now call everything from our chocolate bars, to our shoes, to our cars sexy? My inner teacher tells me that there must be a better array of words that can be used to attract people’s attention.  The biggest danger in this overuse of “sexy” is that people are using it incredibly incorrectly. For the record I would like to state that the following are not in fact “sexy”.

• That time of the month. Sure your tampon brand may make you feel comfortable going to a swimming pool, but in no way does it even remotely make me feel “sexy”. It makes me feel hungry and bloated

•    That swoosh of hair in front of your eyes, like Beiber style. This is not “sexy” especially when you have to shake your head in one direction repeatedly to keep it in place. You look like a fool with a neck twitch, not “sexy”.

•  Food. On a TV show I was watching, the host hopeful kept talking about “sexy” food. Uh, maybe delicious, savory, or mouthwatering. But “sexy” is just the wrong word. Who feels sexy after they chow down?

• Cars. Most men think their cars make them “sexy”, or that the car itself is “sexy”. I may say your car is clean, or your car is fast, but “sexy”, no. This is especially true when you rev the engine loudly in an intersection, or when you drive laid back with one hand on the wheel. You think your car makes you “sexy” but mostly it makes me smirk at you.

And so friends, the next time you consider using the adjective “sexy” to describe something, I want you to really think about it. I’m on JT’s side and think that we do in fact need to bring sexy back, but only for the nouns that really fit the requirements of the word. Now get back to your sexy browsing!