My Great Migration

Well it took three years, but we’ve finally decided that it’s time to leave this apartment in search of greener pastures and possible granite countertops. I’m not quite sure what took us so long to leave. Among the best memories I have of my current living quarters are the “musician” who lived downstairs and liked to shake the things on our walls, the landlord who takes 8 months to respond to a broken fan, and those who can’t understand how to park straight. Yes, cheap rent will make you do crazy things.

As the date for the big move approaches, I’m reminded of why moving is officially on my top 10 shittiest things to do in life list. First you have to pack. This leads to, “How the hell did I acquire this?” I think I’m just starting to recover from the college phase of life where everyone in your family just gives you household items. At first you think it’s great because now you don’t have to buy a bread pan. But then you realize that they’re just pawning junk on to you and now you have four bread pans, (Yes, four! Again, how did I acquire this?).  Packing usually leads to cleaning as you uncover the dust from every inch of your room. In my case this was so bad that when I blew my nose, dust came out. Yum.

After you pack, you have to find a place to live. Did you know that people can claim a 400 square foot apartment with no air conditioning, no off street parking, and no closet is “charming”? You can live in a “vintage” downtown building with cupboards so old that they will probably fall or have a cozy home for mice in them for the biggest steal of only $1500 a month! I know this is only a one bedroom place, but don’t worry because water is paid for. Sometimes I just want to walk in and say, “Hello, I’m a teacher, where is my discount?”  I’ll just keep crossing my fingers that some rich person wants me to live in their gorgeous basement apartment for a low, low price, (I’m even willing to be in the basement! Wait, I mean “garden level” oy).

I guess at least I can provide you all with some of my sarcastic comments before I go pack some more boxes. Think of me when you see that U-Haul driving by, because chances are, I’ll need a friendly face.