Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Centenial State

A while back I wrote an ode to my home state of Utah. As my 10 year high school reunion grows closer, it seems crazy to think that I've now been a Colorado resident for almost ten years. Life is definitely different here in the Rocky Mountains, so I thought I would assemble some thoughts for all you non-natives to help you better understand life "elevated."

1. The first thing you need to know about living in Colorado is that people that are from here are REALLY proud of it. You'll be able to identify them by their "Native" bumper stickers and funny look that they give you when you tell them you're not from here. If you mention that you were thinking of moving somewhere else, the typical response is, "Why? Colorado is amazing! Who would ever want to leave?" This state pride was a bit weird to me because we don't have that in Utah...I then realized that is because no one from Utah ever leaves. Whatever you do, don't buy one of these or I will make fun of you--->

2. Another thing you should know about Colorado is that there is a formal dress code. First, all residents are required to purchase a variety of North Face outerwear, preferably black, but other colors are also allowed. Second, you must own at least one pair of outdoorsy and or eco-friendly footwear including but not limited to Keens, Chacos, Toms, Columbia, or Merrell. Flannel and/or plaid shirts are acceptable but not required. I utilized this wardrobe when I climbed Mt. Ranier last summer.
 <---Okay, so I was actually climbing a snow pile in the parking lot, but I feel I should receive credit for the effort and a bonus for incorporating a Coach bag into the outfit.

3. Colorado residents really, really like their Subarus. They also like to mow other cars over on the freeway when it is snowing. "Learn how to drive in the snow!" they shout. "Stop driving like a tool!" I reply.

4.On one of my first Sundays living in Colorado I took a walk around the neighborhood. It was silent. "Where is everyone?" I thought to myself. Turns out the Sunday has a different name in Colorado, it is Bronco Day. On Bronco Day, you stay inside and yell at the Donkeys until they win. You even get 15% off of your groceries if you wear your Broncos gear to the store on game day!

5. The last thing you should know about living in Colorado is that the weather is seriously nuts. It's something about the change in elevation coming off of the Rockies and into the plains, (or at least that's what they tell you when you're having yet another turbulent landing at DIA). At any rate, Coloradans love to talk about weather. When it snows in May (aka last week) you can start tallying how many people say, "Welcome to Colorado" or "It's springtime in the Rockies!" People really need to stop saying that because it makes me want to say mean things.

Well, I think that about sums this great state. For more information on life in Colorado, please ask any Midwesterner as they have all seemed to move here. Go Broncos.

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