Sports Fans

The scent of the Superbowl is in the air and with this comes a great topic of discussion- sports fans. It is actually quite strange how excited we can all get about a game that usually involves a few simple rules, a single ball, and a lot of skill.  Everyone has a sport that they enjoy more than others, however I have found that there are typically three types of fans that you can find for any sport. They are as follows:

#1 The Diehard Fan

Diehard fans are probably some of the most intense people you’ll meet in your lives. You know who they are because 90% of their wardrobe is based around their team’s colors. They are the types that can spout off the names of every player including their height, weight, birthday, shoelace color and batting average. They argue at the top of their lungs saying “Well back in ’07 they had an average scoring percentage of 98%, what the hell is happening this year?” These people remind me of my dad whose daily mood is determined by the score of the Dodgers game, or my boyfriend who has a Rockies shrine in his basement and claps loudly at the TV when Helton scores even if we’re in the middle of dinner at a restaurant. To these diehard fans, their team, and their sport, is life.

#2 The Fair Weather Fan

Fair weather fans are fairly easy to spot. A key indicator of a fair weather fan is someone who claims to be the “biggest fan ever” one week, and then seems to be having a multiple personality moment the next. As a resident of Colorado, I think a key spot that you can find this is in Broncos “fans”. The Denver Broncos, like all football teams, have a fairly large following. However if you are a fellow Donkey fan, you know that we’ve been through a lot of changes over the past few years. Most recently we were the center stage for Tebow-mania. Tebow must have some kind of musky scent that brings the fair weather fans out of their homes, because all of the sudden everyone became the ultimate fan. This was most especially true when Tebow and the Broncos won. However, just one Sunday later Tebow sucks and the Broncos are horrible because they lost. By the time the next seven days roll by and Tebow scores the winning touchdown in overtime, we’re back to Tebow is tits and I believe in Mile High Magic! With so much back and forth, I’m considering changing their names to seesaw fans.

#3 The Bandwagon fan

Now in my personal opinion, the bandwagon fan is the worst kind of fan that there is. You’ll be able to identify the bandwagon fan as the moron at Sports Authority buying the “Green Monstah” shirt the night before the big game. These “fans” start watching the game, merely to see what the hell everyone else is talking about, and then they attempt to join in the conversation to sound cool. “Hey guys did you see that layup that Michael J. put up last night?” Your response to this should be: “Uh, no. MJ designs clothes now and watches Space Jam every Friday. WTF are you talking about.” Now I’m not saying I’ve never been on the bandwagon, but let’s be real here kids- unless you’re from the same town as the team, there’s a hot shortstop, or you have a good friend that likes that team, hop off the bandwagon.

Now even though there are three distinct types of fans, the fact of the matter is that at one point or another, we’ve all been one. The question that we all need to ask ourselves is why do we care so much about a game? Let’s discuss this over some peanuts and crackerjacks.