Road Rage

I have an extremely long commute, however this time is often spent participating in my favorite pastime- people watching. Have you ever really watched the people that are traveling alongside you? It’s actually quite entertaining. You see, people are crazy when they drive.

First, you get your people who are obviously super important and can’t seem to get around you fast enough.  I experienced this person the other day when I stopped at red light and the car behind me honked because I didn’t run the light. Of course this prompted me to throw my hands up in exasperation and give a “Can I help you beeyatch?” look in my rear view mirror. She seemed unfazed as she continued to talk on her cell phone (cue rolling eyes here). This car blew by me as we continued down the street, but that’s okay because the speed trap van was waiting (insert evil laugh here).

Next, you get the drivers who have nowhere to go but your blind spot. This makes you want to roll down your window and shout things like, “Hey are you trying to race or something? Because this is Grease Lightning!” or “Yeah, it’s a Prius, pretty BA right?” I mean really, didn’t your driver’s ed teacher tell you that’s a no-no?  Shockingly these people always seem to be the ones on their cell phones (again with the eye rolling).

The final person you should look out for on your next drive to work is the slow poke. I know, I know, we all hate the grandpa drivers, but what you should really notice is that many times they are not grandpas at all. These drivers send you into an irrational rage where you want to do nothing but honk your horn and flash your lights as you weave in and out of lanes trying to get around them (of course I never drive like this).  If you take a second to notice though, you’ll see that these people are actually super cool and are usually doing one or more of the following: smoking, on the phone, playing with the radio, or on the phone.  I suggest giving them a polite toot toot and then going about your merry way.

So friends, the next time you’re sitting in traffic, take a look around and notice just how entertaining others can be… and for the love of Tim Tebow, stop using your phone while driving.